Getting Organized.

I'm trying to organize papers and get my life together for the millionth time. Whenever I do this, I always stumble across weird business cards, penguin cartoons that I've drawn and lists I've made that make NO SENSE.


Examples of such lists:

List 1-

• Blend-smoothie=GOOD!
• Blend/songs=Not Good!
• "Encore"-Jay Z
• Twista
• "War"-Edwin Star

List 2-

• "You could put him on a postcard and send him to your mom."
• Upright hair!
• Wishy Washy!
• Banana phone!
• Texas Toast!
• Three legged cat! Mittens!
• Chicken in disguise!
• Ice knees!
• Stretch!
• Headbands!

List 3-

• I like to eat:
• Fruit!
• Cheese!
• Chicken!
• Save $!
• Sleep!
• Think less!
• Positive!

List 4-

• Aburrido=Boring
• Odio la musica=I hate music
• Odio las personas=I hate people
• Bola extresado=Stress ball

And my favorite, List 5-

• Wake up!
• Kick ass!
• Listen to myself!!
• That's it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THERE ARE SO MANY OF THESE! 

In a NY Minute.

Boom shalaka! I did a drive-by NY visit this past week. Please forgive me if you know me and I didn't get to see you. Or if I don't know you and I didn't get to see you. There's always next time!

Anyway.

As soon as I entered Grand Central I was reminded of things I did not miss. For example 1. people 2. the guy asking for money on the train that always ends up standing RIGHT in front of me.

I found myself laughing in public a lot which is a vast improvement over the end of me living there when I'd be crying in public. What a difference a good mood can make. I remember being so fed up during my last months that I would often stare people coldly in the eye, miraculously deepen my voice and demand them to move. I was back to my polite self and saying hi to people I didn't know. I have to stop doing that. It gets out of control...

First stop on my docket was to visit my best, Cassie (whom you will also see me refer to as Cash $ and Bird). Cash and I became fast friends in college, bonding over the side ponytail, and have shared many a ridiculous moment since. She's been reppin' the west coast for the last few years as I held it down in New York. Of course, my shit luck would have it that she'd move to the city just as I was fleeing it. Pressed for time, I hit her up near her work so we could have a quick yet delightful chat over some coffee. Good times.

I then proceeded downtown to drop my shiz off at the great Lady D's apartment. I went to use the bathroom and put my phone on the back of the toilet. It then promptly jumped in the toilet. I didn't drop it, it dove in willingly. Ah, I'm an idiot, duh. For one, why the hell did I need my phone in the bathroom? Secondly, I was completely sober. Thirdly, figures it would happen during a trip where many correspondences would have to go down. Another example of my great timing, not. I put it to a blow dryer for an hour or so and then immediately read afterwards that you are not supposed to put it to a blow dryer. Of course not.

Giving up, I had some nachos at Piano's and then went to DANCE CLASS!!!! Getting low in Jlee's class is seriously the best I've felt in a looooooooooong ass time. The jams were pumping high and hot damn, was I feeling it, yo. The routine was to Tyga's "Rack City" which has quite the bumpin' baseline and requires much hood action. I somehow survived the push ups and only blacked out a few times during the number. Score!  I wasn't able to muster as much gutta as necessary but feel good about future get lows.
 I soooo enjoyed hearing Jlee remind us all to "let that go" and absolutely was tickled pink to see my fabulous dance crew that I completely heart.

Lady D and I then went to UCBEast to check out a stuttering comedian who talked about chopping off the head of a suckling pig. Delightful.

Friday found me having scrambled eggs and bacon with the wonderful Michelle, shooting the shit and catching up on the lives. We gave the hangout a 6 out 5 stars.

Bird and I met up again, going to happy hour with my good friend Jess. Tell me why I tried a pear cider? Bad news bears! Bird and I then went LIPS, a drag show in midtown. It's tradition that we go to a drag show in every city that we reside in. Boston had us at Jacque's Cabaret where all the ladies went for their bachelorette parties and we went to celebrate Presidents Day. In LA., we hit up drag queen bingo. That was ridick. Whenever someone would win, they had to run around the room as everyone else threw their crumpled cards at them and the queen cried "pelt her! pelt her!". LIPS was by far the classiest one we've been to and therefore the most expensive, agh. Both of our drinks tasted like different variations of the BU jungle juice (aka students at Boston University's recipe for drunk and college and sick). Really hard to sip down. Somehow at LIPS everyone was turning 16. How are 16 year-olds here? What?! And why do they look older than me?! Ah...The last queen to go on was the best. She did a Nikki Minaj montage and damn, was she ever so sassy! Very inspirational! I like how I always get inspired whenever I go to these shows. Makes me also want to werk (see: work) it big time. All in all however, Jacque's is way more dive and also raunchier than LIPS so if you are picking which city to live in based on this, Boston wins this time.

Hanging with Bird is great because it's like a bad musical nonstop. Lots of singing of strange tunes, dance moves down the street and pulling of odd faces while pointing out all of the "are you dead serious" happenings surrounding us. Somehow there are always a lot of those.  We saw a guy wearing a full plaid suit walking down the street. This is not a super wtf moment granted, but still, really?! Kind of liked it though...Anyway, The next day we had brunch and then watched the SyFy movie "Sasquatch Mountain" aka the WORST MOVIE EVER. "Cranks" was coming on when I had to leave. Disappointing...

On the train home, the girl sitting next to me and I were discussing life. We talked about how she is going to go to Columbia Law and how she had at first deferred it. She felt like she was a mess because she didn't go right away. I confided in her that I once got into grad school and didn't even respond because my cat Slash  had died and rent went up that week, forcing me to look for a new apartment. And now I'm looking to reapply to the same damn school. We also discussed Boston vs. New York. She loves Boston and is hesitant to move to the big city. She asked me what I had liked most about NY. I had to think. I told her I made great friends, and had a lot of random adventures and things happen to me (but that seems to happen everywhere). And I told her I loved dance class. She said there is dance class in Boston too. I don't think I was selling it ha. But, I am sure that this time next year I may be back. Or not.

Gotta say though, getting low and hanging out with some of your favorite people is a recipe for greatness. Definitely helped to put even more pep in my step.

So, New York, I may be back. I may be living up in you again sometime soonish. Trying to get my ducks all in their proper rows. Alternatively, I may never move back. Who the hell knows?! In the meantime, it's definitely good to be back in New England especially for the Patriots game. Since they won last week, we are having a repeat game meaning I have to make the nachos and muddy buddies again which means I am definitely going to have the worst stomach ache ever in just a couple of hours. Cheers.

Bras in the Face!

I did inventory last week, rounding out the end of my seasonal retail work. Good God. I've done inventory before but it was never so painful. Three nights of beeping and counting into the wee hours of the night and early morning. Thank you, not. The first night was was the worst. Even though I was the shortest person around, I somehow got stuck with the wall fixtures. This required me climbing ladders and standing on tip toes and wrestling heavy mannequins. I was also stuck with an old school dinosaur gun which had to be held with both hands and didn't scan a damn thing. And while I'm working with the dino, I have to somehow free up enough of the hands to move the merchandise. It was like a puzzle, I tell you. Hand cramps were creeping up on me left and right. And the bras. There were at one point 40 bras just hitting me in the face. Quite cumbersome to say the least. I overheard a 50-something co-worker say counting all the lingerie was making her horny which I found to be both funny and horrifying. I also had to count endless pairs of tights which made me hate tights which caused me concern because I also hate pants and that doesn't leave me with many options in regards to the lower region. Perhaps worst of all was the elevator music that never ceased. SO BAD. If this was really on in an elevator, I would be sure to take the stairs is all I'm saying. That night I dreamed that I was doing inventory and then the dream sequence immediately flashed to me driving off of a cliff, dead serious. I made sure to drive extra carefully the next couple of nights.

Don't Kill Yourself!

Being the owner of this blog, I have the ability to check the "stats" page which displays the referring links to this blog and also what words were searched, resulting in the finding of the blog. More and more, I am saddened to see the search keywords "killing myself" in the stats. The thought of killing oneself is totally sad and I think people should try and have hope and whatnot. At the same time, I can only imagine what one is thinking when they are at that point and then they come across my blog which has nothing to do with killing oneself but can be rather quirky and odd. It must be rather frustrating. They're looking for the best way to get an out, and here are my ridiculous thoughts and run-on sentences like whoa. To be specific, they see this: 

MONDAY, MAY 23, 2011

I killed myself in 2006.

Random Sports Entry!

I've always been pretty into the watching of sports. Basketball hooked me at a very early age. I loved the fast-paced action and would dedicate many hours jumping up and down cheering for Charles Barkley when he was reppin' the Suns. I remember betting the kids in my fourth grade class that the Suns would beat MJ and the Bulls and consequently wrote a letter to Sir Charles afterwards, expressing my condolences and steadfast belief in him. Then I had a very strange Allen Iverson obsession and it really WAS an obsession. I had the AI jersey and bobbin' head doll, knew every stat there was to know about the Sixers, and watched every game. My watching was accompanied by odd superstitious practices, like hitting his bobbin' head three times and then a penny heads up three times and then sprinting to the end of the hall and back. I used to also bring his doll in during my tests at school for luck, believing that he would help give me "The Answer" (which was his nickname). It was an odd obsession. Since AI, I've been very dedicated to my home team Celtics again. I admire their heart and team attitude. Over the years, my love for the hardwood hasn't deteriorated despite the late start to the season and the fact that many consider it to be the "thug league". 


Baseball used to totally bore me until college when I was able to attend quite a few Red Sox games. At first, I got the hook up through Northeastern which had special seat deals for the students. Then, my best friend ended up moving in with relief pitcher Alan Embry. He is her best friend from home's uncle and was appalled when he discovered the cost of the dorms. So, he and his wife generously opened up their home to Cassie. The kind couple had thought Cassie would have the place to herself, that the season would end early as it always did, and they would get to go to their non-baseball playing home. Well, that was the year the Red Sox stopped sucking so they were around longer than anticipated, which was kind of funny. I was fortunate to go to some of the most memorable Red Sox-Yankee playoff games of that season which ended the Sox' curse. It was awesome. I was forever into baseball. Also ironic, is that I had signed up to take Sports Broadcasting with Red Sox announcer Joe Castiglione but class was always canceled because we had made it into the playoffs. Another random tie that I have to the Red Sox is that I appeared on the Red Sox dating show "Sox Appeal" where I sang an original song and danced around a lot. Ah, that was something....


Football. I gotta say that one of the best parts about being back in the New England area is that I get to watch every single game again. This weekend has been off the heezy as far as football is concerned and I've really enjoyed watching the games. The viewing party included my parents, cousin/friend Katie, cat Rags and I. My dad slept through much of the Saints-49ers game. He's very talented at the art of the sudden nap. Us ladies ARE ladies but do enjoy watching our games. Our reactions are a bit lady-like at times however. For instance, we all "awed" in unison when Davis from the 49ers balled his eyes out after the win. The Pats-Broncos game had me in a tivvy from the very beginning. I was nervous and weird noises came out of me quite often expressing this. In response to this, my mom said, "Kristen, your stomach's gonna be a mess and we're not gonna know if it's from the nachos, the muddy buddies, or the ulcer you're giving yourself." Well, she was totally right about that one. My stomach IS currently a mess. I blame the nachos and muddy buddies, both which I made. Gotta say, another perk about being home is being able to share the food that I'm often baking/cooking. Baking and cooking is a bit of a stress reliever but when I did it in New York, I'd often eat everything by myself. Well, one time I did mail my friend a muffin for her birthday. ANYWAY. There were a few witty moments from the party last night. We were sad to see a Bronco possibly dislocate his shoulder. Yes, they're not our team, but injuries still make us sad. Well, maybe not my dad. Katie's reaction to the injury: "What? From running into someone's abs? That's crazy!" Indeed it is. Imagine getting your neck or shoulder all messed up from running bull-like into a dude's abs? This also inspired Katie and I to want to start running sprint drills. Running the bleachers in track used to terrify me for fear of falling through, but watching the game, I felt inspired to do so again. My dad compared a fast guy to a waterbug which I liked very much and we all had fun discussing the horse collar foul that a Bronco pulled on the ever delightful Deion Branch. As Katie put it, "Horse collar? But do they even put horse collars on horses? They wear saddles. I've never heard of a horse wearing a collar." Excellent point! Well, to get back to the story at hand, we were all tickled pink at the Pat's huge win of 45-10. They played the best I've seen them all season, and if you looked closely, you could see the look of determination gleaming in their eyes. Feeling quite good about the win, quite! I'm also very stoked (and nervous) for next week's game and the Superbowl of course. But...in a few weeks, the season will be over...Then what?! Ah. Must stay in the moment!


Well, this is my random sports blog. I guess the games inspired me.

Oh and PS: I DO like hockey. I just have yet to form the real dedication to it yet. And as of right now, golf is lost on me and tennis is okay for watching when sick with Swine Flue.