Let's Get Physical!!

8:45 am this morning: annual trip to the doc's. I know that I am a very large wimp when it comes to these trips. I hate being touched, I shudder at needles, and I pass out at blood tests. Seriously, I'm the nearly thirty year-old who wakes up to smelling salts and a juice box after getting blood drawn. I remembered to bring reading material for once, but somehow they called me in for the pre-checkup portion only five minutes after being there. I was eased into the whole sha-bang by getting weighed and measured, and good news!, I'm not shrinking; still walking tall at five feet. Though, I swear I was 5'2" in the eighth grade...Anyhoo, I wouldn't want to get any taller because "Five feet one inch of pure bliss" or "Hawaii Five One" doesn't sound nearly as good.

After that fun, I was escorted to a very tiny room that could have used some cheery decor. The lady tells me to put on the johnny and I spent the next five minutes worrying if I had put it on correctly or not. I mean, the last time my Gma was in the hospital, I distinctly remember her exposing her derriere to us as a result of the open part going in the back, but how does one tie this at this angle? Are we not supposed to actually tie this? The man in the pamphlet has it this way. Okay, I'll just leave it this way. I mean, I can always switch it, right?? Shoot, my Kindle is over there. How can I get up and get it if I have socks off? I mean, I could but do I really want to touch this floor again? Sick. They really need to paint the walls. Yellow would be nice. Once I settled on the open part in the back and came to terms that I brought my Kindle for no reason, I spent the rest of my time worrying about having to go to the bathroom. Agh, I probably shouldn't have had that tea. But I was tired. I am tired. Poor doctors, they always see me tired and spazzy. At least I'm friendly otherwise. Ah.  I have to pee, I'm pretty sure of it. And she's gonna feel on my bladder and aaah...

My thoughts were occasionally broken up from the voices outside of my confinement. Nurses singing "Bad Romance", a woman claiming that she doesn't know if she'll survive Valentine's Day, and another talking very passionately about fish.

I somehow manage to make it through the actual exam. I definitely pulled faces and also made jokes the entire time, but I maintained friendly at least. The nurse practitioner suggested I  learn more about anatomy and how things work. "What if the kids at school ask you something?" Yuck. I like to eat well and work out. I don't need to know what's going on inside otherwise, thanks. Then came the "When was the last time you got your Tetanus shot? Have you been cut? Bitten by something?" I replied, "Both actually, but somehow they didn't give me a shot. They gave me an ointment both times and offered me a hearing test." This is a true story. VERY ridiculous trips to to the doctors when I lived in Greenpoint, let me tell you. Anyway, I got the shot. No passing out! Score!

I've decided that I like the health industry in this order:

1. Orthopedic-went a couple of times in NY. Nice office, no needles, no violations. Good conversations.
2. Eye doc's-Last time I went, I had the most inspirational talks with the people that worked there. I do get confused when they ask me if this picture or this picture looks better though. I'm too indecisive for that kind of testing.
3. Dentist-I'm anti saliva vacuum (dry mouth much!), but I usually somehow manage to have nice chats there also. Points down for headaches, tool sounds, and blinding light in the eye.
4. Regular doc's/GYNO-Well, this is a pretty obvious one.