Be One With the Water

I kid-sat my five-year old nice Amelia the other day. Miss A is basically the best, and I'm not just saying that because she is like a mini-me. There are many reasons why she's the bee's knees including: she takes break dancing lessons, can rap Biz Markie, loves cats, and wants to be a graffiti artist when she grows up. So, her and I were in my parents' hot tub chillen when she said she was going to try to dip her head under the water to conquer fear. Amelia said, and I quote, "I need to take a deep breath and become one with the water." She then proceeded to close her eyes and channel some chi. When she didn't make it quite under I asked her if she had been one with the water. Her response: "No, I was seaweed. I'm going to try to be one with the water again now." She also explained that Mylo angel (her recently deceased dog) was looking over her and wouldn't let her drown. Kids can be sweet.

Anyway.

I have pleasantly surprised myself by sleeping a couple of nights this week. There have also been some dreams involved.

Dream 1
I am running late to work and arrive during an armed intruder drill so everyone is outside, including David Spade. David Spade was in subbing for a teacher and I looked at him and was full of legit contempt. David Spade wore a purple velour tracksuit. Also, it was snowing outside and that made me really angry.

Dream 2
I decided I needed a new Celtics shirt and went to the Prudential Center in Boston. I kept being drawn to green velvet jackets. This was basically the entirety of my dream, me searching for, finding, and falling in love with a green velvet jacket.

Dream 3
I tell someone to "wipe that face off their head." That was literally the entire dream. I woke and looked in the mirror and there was a dent in my face from sleeping.

Well, that is it for now. I actually have quite a lot to blog about regarding visiting a retirement community in Florida aka living the dream. I'll need an entire afternoon for that one. God speed, people!

Well, it's Saturday!

I just found out that three of my co-workers are pregnant. My response: "Wow, congratulations! Jesus the biggest news I have is that my cat has his own instagram.  Yeah, I went to work the other day and came home and Cheddarcatrocks was all setup on insta." And...I'm serious. Follow the orange fuzzball!

Today I took my Gma shopping to her mecca, Macy's.  She made me go INTO the dressing room WITH HER. Sure, this is my spring break, but I didn't really want to see any topless ladies! During the excursion, This Is Tonight by Amber and a Mandy Moore song came on. Flashback much.

Anyway, speaking of vacation, Tuesday I'm off to the Villages, a retirement hotspot in Florida. I'm pretty stoked that I'll get to go out dancing and still be in bed at 10pm. I'm seriously looking into opening a club that runs business between 4pm and 10pm, because there are little options for those who enjoy getting low as much as they enjoy getting zzzs.

The other day a man wearing a huge Native American head dress biked by me.  It was a lovely piece, but it was so large I was legit worried he'd topple over. Sending positive vibes to that man.

The end.

Peaches and Cowflaps!

As I sit here, snow pounding outside, on ya know, April 4th, I think: life cannot be all peaches, but that doesn't mean we can't eat any peaches! I am going to continue to eat peaches, damn it! Peachy keen!

Any of you who have read my blog before or who know me personally, probably have inferred that my life can be pretty ridiculous.  I mean; accused of grand larceny, cab drivers playing the flute WHILE driving me, cats getting buried and then dug up--none of this is exactly normal. Yet, usually I am (appear anyway) happy.  I figure, it's just life.  Though, honestly, sometimes behind closed doors I would cry a lot and not want to leave my bed.  Hey, it happens.

My life started going semi-smooth this past fall.  I upped my yoga game,  I cut-down on the thinking, I read the super life-changing book "You are a Badass" by Jen Sincero.  I made the best vision board featuring the dapper and handsome James Marsden.  I started going from semi-faking it to totally making it.  By January 2016 life was at an all time smooth, non-chunky PB style.  I was absolutely killing it! I did a 30 day yoga challenge at Providence Power Yoga which basically sealed the deal on my smooth criminal status.  I got good at putting myself first; saying no I couldn't possibly do this or that, I've got yoga, yo! I also felt super chill and emotionally non-hot-mess and ya know, pretty svelte too.  February rolled in and I was like WHAT WHAAAAAAT KILLING IT!

Then, March hit.  It has always been my least favorite month.  It makes me question why I live in New England (more than usual).  I always get sick in March.  Some kind of cowflap always hits the fan.  Every. Single. March.  This March at least started off pretty bearable; I secured a preschool teacher position for next year, the weather was not too icky, I was not sick, I was/am talking to a nice boy.  Then ya know, end of March comes.  The weather turns! I'm sick! I'm pounding an ungodly amount of chocolate every day! Cowflaps hitting fans!!!!! And now it is April and it is snowing.  Yet, somehow I am still feeling pretty fine.  In the past, the ick of it all; weather, cowflaps, sickness, od-ing on chocolate=aaah, life???? But now, I have finally come to the point where I have learned to dust that snow off my car, buy some yellow flowers to mask the rancid cowflaps, pop a lozenge, throw my hands up, and say, "the heck with it!" Life is too great to let some flaps of cows get in the way.  Even when it is less than peachy, I will still find me some peaches!