The alarm goes of at 5:33 am. Naturally, I'm already awake. After getting in late from grad class (the fun never ends!), I ended up nodding off probably close to 12:30/1:00 am aka hardly slept. Still, I managed to get a lot of food together (substance what!), my laundry, gym stuff, work stuff, lots of stuff and mosey out the door with plenty of time to spare! I make the trek down three flights of stairs, throw Cheddar's poop in the trash, reach the car. Keys. For the love of Peter, where are my keys?! After searching all of the bags numerous times reality sets in: work keys, car keys, apartment keys are all on my kitchen table.
I ring the doorbell and my lovely neighbor answers the door. Score! I am into the building. I ask her for my landlord's number (ever since my phone updated, numbers have not been saving correctly). Not being an English speaker, she has no idea what I am asking for. The irony that I am an ESL teacher is not lost on me. I get to my floor and try the door. Just as I had suspected, it is locked. Cheddar proceeds to cry from inside the apartment for much longer than should be allowed. Does he meow all day when I am at work?? I decide to make some calls. I call my realtor, who, oddly enough, is my deceased great aunt (and she really was great!)'s adopted daughter. She has apartments to show but can get to me around 10:35 aka in 3 and a half hours. She sends me a kazzillion numbers to call in the mean time. I call all the numbers, no response. I go get a coffee. Coffee upsets my stomach but do you think I care? No. I head over to this delightful coffee shop where the peeps working the counter sing in vibrato just like I do! These are my people! I walk in and say that I need something "on the rocks". Coffee is not really want I want but I understand that more adult options are not available here, especially at 8 am. I go for a butterfinger flavored iced coffee-not too shabby! I get all jittery, peruse the paper, find some good recipes, read my horoscope (crap), and kick it. A man with a an eye patch walks in. Wonderful. Cops come to the door. The counter peeps make siren sounds as they enter. One of the popo's has baby bangs. He's a dude cop with baby bangs. I mean, does it get any better than this?! Of course it does! Mrs. Luciano walks in! Mrs. Luciano is something else. The counter peeps have a whole song about her. It's all too good. I go to the bathroom (twice). The trashcan in the bathroom reads "don't front". What! You best not! I order a BMT: bacon, mustard, tomato and MUCH more! Cheese! Arugula! Hot peppers! So what if I ate a pb and banana sandwich at 6:30 am? What else am I going to do?? My phone rings. The realtor will be at my apartment with the keys in 5 minutes. She doesn't have much time for she has to get two teeth extracted. I pay, thank the peeps, leave them a penguin/cat/shark drawing, take my sandwich, and head off. When I reach my apartment, the outside door is locked. I had left it unlocked, but now it is locked. A sinking feeling sets in---does my realtor have an exterior key or just an interior key?! The realtor arrives. No, she does not have an exterior key, just an interior. We spend the next 6 minutes banging on the doors, ringing the bells, and calling the other tenants. Nothing! The realtor has to go get her teeth extracted. She leaves. I eat my sandwich on my apartment steps. It's truly magnificent. Thank you sandwich. I bite the bullet and call a locksmith, $75, will be there in a half an hour. Meanwhile, the realtor calls back. She went all the way to the dentist, got the Novocaine and then is told that the replacement teeth are not in. Not wanting to show apartments toothless, she jumped out of the dentist's chair and ever so kindly got back to me. She had gotten in touch with the landlord, he is so sorry he missed my call, he has a spare key....45 minutes away. My realtor aka guardian angel, goes to get the key for me. I go to get a drink, because at this point?? Oh, how have I not mentioned that I had to take an emergency personal day at work due to the whole I cannot literally get to work today thing. Ideally, my personal day would have gone to time on a beach or something of that nature, but this is definitely more on par with my life. G.A. (guardian angel) suggests I go to a coffee shop. It's 11:35 am, no more coffee for me, I'm getting a DRINK. I walk into this cute crepe joint, "Is it too early to get a drink?" The bartender guy is like, "Have you met me?" No, I have not met him, but he is not bad. There is another woman at the bar area who is treating herself to anything she wants for the day. Today she wants a hot dog. She ends up getting this huge hot dog crepe with chili on it. Her collar is glittery like a disco ball. She can literally start a dance party wherever she goes. I let her know this. The bartender and I spend the next hour discussing milk, contemplating why it's called a toothbrush and not a teethbrush. and trying to figure out the back/front of the arm--the arm is sort of both front and back at the same time! The convo is good, real good, but my phone rings again. G.A. will be at the apartment in ten minutes with the keys. It's 1:11 pm.
Finding the humor in the situation, I made a status update about it on Facebook. Some people comment that they are sorry about my day. Is it bad that this is one of the BETTER days I have had in a while?? Ha, oh man. My sister wrote that there should be AAA for apartments, to which I responded, "There should be AAA for LIFE!" It's not all about cars and apartments. Guy you're dating has gone missing? There's AAA for that! Cat is attacking your feet? There's AAA for that! The man getting you down? There's AAA for that!
Also, I have not written a blog entry in months. Too busy with work and school and non-fun, but yo, stuff is still ridiculous, and I've got stories to tell!
