I am pretty upbeat. I value life, all that jazz. But last Monday, I woke up wanting to punch throats, and for no apparent reason. I've had the agh this sucks moments where a legit throat punch would make sense, but this sort of edge came from a place unknown. As soon as I left my apartment on Monday, I knew, I'd need a miracle this week. Everyone was getting on my s list. Seriously, no one was safe. You could be my grandma or in kindergarten, didn't matter; chances are you were annoying the heck out of me. I managed to squeak by until Thursday, the day I was going to a new gyno in Providence. Perhaps part of my foul mood was the anticipation. I really hate going to the doctors. I held my head high at the dentists last week and also through various work meetings and such, but my threshold for obligatory non-fun activities was at an all time low. To make matters worse, I naturally got lost, for an hour. My GPS kept telling me to go into the Marriott. I ignored the persistent voice but finally bit the bullet. I thought, maybe the doctor's office is in the hotel? That would be sweet! I started walking towards the hotel's entrance but didn't see any signs for a gynecologist's office. I called the office. They told me that they were located across the street from the Marriott. I dodged multiple lanes of traffic, darting cars, and made it to a brown building. Once inside, a made-up lady asked me if I was lost. "Ah, is this is the gynecologists?" She laughed and I looked at the sign: I was in the ABC 6 New Building. Of course I was. I called the doc's again. They told me they were across the other street. I darted back across the lanes, finally making it into my car. I took a deep breath and started over. And then I proceeded to turn onto a one way in the complete opposite direction of where I was supposed to be going. Oh look, I'm at the state offices, great. Thirty minutes later, I made my way to the office, which was less than a mile from the Marriott. And of course, right across the street from a plaza that I have frequented many times before. At this point, I'm beyond flustered. I send out a text to my friend: actually I can't hang out tonight. I fill out paperwork and play the waiting game. Super anxious because I'm about to be invaded/if I have to get a blood test I may just lose my giblets. Finally, I'm ushered into a tiny room, the walls adorned with large posters of lady parts. I mean, why do I need to see this?! Okay, okay, a little poster, fine, but nothing that enlarged. Terrible town. Anyway, I manage to survive the actual exam. It all looks good down there. And the blood test ladies were great because a. they found my veins just fine b. they told me I wasn't going to pass out and I actually did NOT pass out and c. they compared me to the chick on Bones which is funny because I often get compared to Zooey Deschanel and they're sisters, so maybe they could hire me to fill-in at family functions and stuff. Anyway, I was feeling super jazzy that I didn't pass out, I managed to make it to my apartment without getting lost, and then I had nice tea with my nice neighbors, so that was nice and stuff.
I was in a slightly better mood on Friday. But then it rained on Saturday and it went all downhill. My dear mother tried to make me feel better by putting on three disco cds and making me dance for over an hour and a half. There is a video. I don't want to embarrass her, but really, I don't know if I could because damn, she's got some moves! I attempted to go out last night too, but that didn't really work out. I waited over an hour and a half for meatless food and well, meatless food and waiting for food....neither sit well with me. After dinner, my friends and I attempted to go out to bars. Of course, I forgot where I had parked for a good fifteen minutes so that delayed the evening of not finding anywhere good to go. I also remembered that I prefer not going out but rather wearing pajamas in the comfort of my own apartment. This does not bode well for meeting fellows, but at this point, warm apartment wins out.
Anyway. This is Columbus Day Weekend. Big doings.
