I hope the naked guy was "built" at least.

Work at the venue was a trainwreck last night. It was slow as fudge and I knew I was just going to make enough for a cab ride home. The early show was pretty good, sounded quite similiar to white noise. Who doesn't love white noise?! When a customer, Tyvon (potential sugar daddy), asked me what I thought, I said it's cool, gotta love some good percussion, but I don't know if I'd listen to it in my room." We agreed on the white noise bit and said I'd prefer to just put my fan on. Tyvon compared me to Simon Cowell. Aah? Yeah. Anyhoo, the late show was something else. The opening act had around 6 people there to support them. I sort of feel bad for bands when this happens but at the same time, what does it say about you that you have no friends?? One of the guys in the band, a "rapper", had a shirt on that read "50% Single". I am very confident that this dude is 200% Single. Firstoff, the guys were making a huge ordeal about putting more volume in this or less in that. Best sound guy in the world can't make you sound good. Period. Also, Single Man was texting on stage. REALLY?! You're texting during a show while "performing"?! Is this necessary?? I think NOT. We've already established you don't have friends. At one point, one of the band dudes said "you guys like what you're hearing?!" or something along those lines to which he was met with legit DEAD SILENCE. The second band is not even worth getting into. I would like to take this time to mention that all of these terrible acts are running 40 minutes behind. Okay, third band, these guys left me scarred for life. It was this crazyass punk rock/ska/brass jumble. Song lyrics included "Fuck You, Lady Gaga" and a couple of nice numbers involving "ass sweat". The small crowd of corporate junkies and straight up messes of life started to mosh around wildly. A woman in business attire brought a drunken man sporting a backwards baseball cap to my attention. Evidently, this dude was such a mess he was groping her fiance and also just sat down on an unsuspecting stranger's lap. Got that mofo kicked out. So, back to the band...Aah! The pudgy trumpet/singer with a mohawk decided it would be an excellent idea to get down to his nitty gritties and bear all. Dude is totally naked, grabbing himself, flailing about and shouting nonsense. Excellent. Awesome. So much nakedness insanity. All of the adjectives in the world would not be able to properly describe the events. At one point, the sound guy turned to me and said "did he just put the mic up his ass?!" This happened for ya know, 40 more minutes, no big deal. At one point the dude was crouched down on the ground morphing into some pretty unseemly positions. As all of this is happening, Ty is making friends with me, asked me if I'm married or have a boyfriend. I really wish I was capable of lying. I ended up giving him my email. On the way out, he asked how I did tip-wise. I said "SHIT". He then offered to throw some money down, he would not be my "sugar daddy" he said, but he didn't mind helping me out. "No thanks." Then another drunken fool asked me for his bag back. I informed him that I did not have his bag. This happened oh, SIX times. Dead serious. Hot mess. Thankfully, hailing a cab was a complete breeze tonight. I was surprised how young the driver was. He was listening to slow jams and quietly talking in bedroom voice to a person on the phone. All of a sudden. Music is off. Dude is asking me out. He'd love to take me to get wine and cheese. He'd love to go Halloween shopping with me. Maybe  I could be cat woman but since an all leather costume could be constricting (as I pointed out), I could get a comfy costume that looks like leather. They make them ya know, he said. I told him I do not have a phone. He knows where I live though so...The best part about the whole debacle is was my mom's response regarding my night, "I hope the naked guy was 'built' at least." Ah, thanks Mom.