James Marsden Vision Board

A couple of weeks ago, cowflap really hit the fan with my guy "friend".  He called me lots of horrendous names and got in my face and such, definitely a no bueno.  I have since come to peace with the situation.  I am not mad at him or really mad/sad in general anymore.  What I am is empowered.  When cowflap REALLY hits the fan, it is a most excellent wake up call.  I realized that for some reason, I really do not value myself.  I have dated guy after guy who has been less than nice and gone through some SERIOUS wtf life situations in general (being threatened, accused of grand larceny, etc), and when it comes down to it, the reason any of this is happening is because I allow it to.  I see the good in everyone and want the best for everyone, which sounds lovely and wishy washy, and it would be, except that I devalue myself in the process.  I have come to realize that even if people have issues and I want to see the good in them, that does not mean that I have to help them to a point that I am hurt, or put up with certain situations, or think that I am not good enough because others put me down or whatever.  That is their issue, not mine.  So, now I am on this super awesome life kick where I truly value and take care of myself.  I feel like a million bucks! I have also made a vision board with positive quotes, the characteristics that I would like in a partner man, and life goals.  I decided that I would print out a picture of James Marsden too, because heck, if I attracted a super sweet, respectful, funny guy who resembles James Marsden, then that wouldn't be so bad.  Unfortunately, the black ink in my printer has run out, so it looks like for now, I will be attracting a white-haired ghost version of James.  Still, not bad! In other news, I have seen 3, count them THREE, attractive guys in my 'hood in the last 24 hours.  I am both shocked and pleased by this.  Yesterday I saw a guy walking in the park with two friends.  It was quite evident that he worked out, which I dig, especially because I like to take good care of myself.  Plus, he has at least two friends! My God, if he had a job too, holy cow...Today, I was looking out the window and saw an attractive guy run by so I put on my running clothes and tried to find him.  Unfortunately, I did not see him out there, but did run by another good looking dude who was also running.  This guy squinted at me.  I got a squint! Anyway, good people, take care of yourselves, let people treat you well, and go chasing after the people who seem chase worthy....well, only literal chasing,  I feel that there should not be too much chasing in the dating life.....

Badassery!

Hi folks!

I read this self-help (yeah, yeah) book this past week called "You are a Badass. How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life." and I gotta tell ya, it's totally working.  So, either you know me, or you don't, but chances are, I come across pretty positive-proton-awesome in my writing. That's because I like to spread cheer and whatnot! The problem is, often I spread a lot of positivity onto others and then go all Negative Nancy on myself. How does this make any sense?! Well, it doesn't.  And I have decided to stop, damn it! I am currently on this crazy train where I have stopped second guessing myself and have instead started to give myself some credit on how awesome I am.  It is a wonderful feeling.  If you are hard on yourself, I suggest you read this book, and well, just try and be kinder to yourself. You deserve it!

There is a lot of negativity in this world.  It is so easy to get sucked in! Tired! Broke! Hate job! Terrible love life! The list goes on! But, there is also so much to be thankful for! Fo sheezy.  I have started to watch the way I think because as the good ol' people say, your thoughts become your words which in turn, become your actions, and so on.  I have always been one to give stellar advice to others, but then to question every single thing I say and do.  It's preposterous! No more! Also, I am trying to steer clear of words like "I want," "I hope," and "I wish".  The reason being when you "wish" for something, for example, it adds a negative connotation, like what you want is something that needs to be wished for, not something that can happen in actuality.  I'm not wishing for anything anymore.  I am just certain shiz is good and will continue to get better.  Try it out, peeps!

As mentioned there is a lot of negativity out there and it is easy to get sucked in.  Sometimes you want to talk to a sir or madame who is nonjudgmental.  This is why I occasionally hit up a counselor and tell her of my life stories.  Yesterday, I was babbling away about my love life, and she stopped me in the middle to tell me that she felt that she was watching a stand-up monologue. Yes, people the "love" life is one of tragedy, but in it, also comedy, because you gotta find the humor in all of the muck! So much muck you'd think I was a pig rolling around in dirt, I tell ya!

So, I decided to cancel my National Credit Report account because I am trying to pay off my credit card, and a monthly $15 fee is not helping.  The lady on the phone was the best.  I want to be her friend.  She lives in Pittsburgh.  She loves snow because there are no bugs, and ya know, I am more of a summer gal, but I had to agree with her on this one.  She has a beta fish.  She does not like dogs, but she likes cats, and thinks my cat sounds really cute.  Her cousin lives in Massachusetts but she has never been, but she would like to visit.  Unfortunately, I was so into our conversation that I naturally pressed a button accidentally and hung up on her.  I did call back and connect with a Lisa.  I told Lisa that I have short term memory and already forgot the name of the lovely person I was chatting with but could she please tell her I said goodbye.  Oh, Lisa was very nice too. And I canceled that fee, holla! Moral of the story: talk to people! Except if they are negative.  Then punch them in the throat! Jokes....

Oh, so I am working with kids who speak no English.  I figured out that the key is to teach them the word "yes" because then I can say, "Do you think I am awesome?" and "Am I your favorite teacher?" and all that and they always say YES! Great feelings!

Okay, go out there and be the badasses I know you can be!!!

Chipotle and bad things happening in 3

I'm live blogging from Chipotle. I have a burrito bowl obsession. I used to go four days a week....right after yoga. I have since weaned my way down to once every other week. Still, I'm there now. And this is why. I have been feeling very content with life lately. I've had my share of ups and downs and I have been maintaining. Just a couple of years ago I was living at home, feeling like a failure, and crying on the regs. Since then, I got my masters, have been making strides at work, started eating Chipotle, and pet my cat in my sweet apartment.  I had even made a guy friend or whatever.  I say or whatever because that seems more accurate of a term. I came very close to securing a dream job last week. I was getting closer with "or whatever". I was feeling pretty swell. Then poof, unraveling left and right.  I decided to at least start being vocal about stuff instead of my usual people pleasing pushover self. So I am proud of this. Trying to get myself in the best possible place at work, expressing feelings to "or whatever," and making an appointment with a specialist because my Celiacs is acting a-fool. I even made an appointment with my counselor for a tune-up. During my counseling sesh, my counselor tells me that she read that all Chipotles are closing. I LOST MY SHIT.  I said, "It always happens in threes! Job, guy, Chipotle.  I cannot deal." I left the office and went straight to Chipotle where I proceeded to tell the worker how in counseling,  I heard that all Chipotles are closing and that I cannot deal with life. The worker assured me that this was in fact a hoax. And thank god cuz I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with my life without my burrito bowls.

Priest Pants.

To say that I have been slacking on this Bad Larry is basically the understatement of the year. I am not really sure where I have been for the last couple of months, but I think I'm back?!

Well, and to be fair, I know where I was from July 8th-18th: Iceland and Paris. Bam! Yeah sure, I'll tell you all about it, though of course most likely in an out-of-sequence order and in complete ramble form. You know how I roll.

Before I get started, please take note of what I am working with computer-wise:

Yes, the giant, growing red slash is really great for the eyes. Nope. I have an old computer from my dad that I tried to restart, but it is also feeling "critical". C'est la vie.

Anyway, back to my out-of-sequence events!

So, I went to Iceland for my pal Cassie's wedding to her dude Phil.  

This is Cassie and Phil on our honeymoon (stories to come) in Paris:

So much joy as you can see! Now they wouldn't have gotten to this point of marital flight if they didn't have a dude to marry them. Please see photo below:

The ceremony was tres beautiful and I'll go into details regarding it at a later point.  But first, to the basics.  The priest, Petur, was a cool dude. When Phil would get misty as he is quite aware that he warmed Cassie's self-described "cold heart," and that they are sealing the deal, Petur would tell him to relax and to let loose. None of that misty business allowed! 

These are Petur's pants:

Please excuse the poor quality of the photo. I was trying to be sly in capturing the purpley leopard pantaloons.  Since I had the great responsibility of signing as witness (or something...what exactly did I sign??!!), Petur and I ended up chatting. There was lots of handshaking and for some reason he was thanking me, even though I did diddly squat.  Petur then insisted on exchanging phone numbers. Evidently he is not on the Facebook. Ten minutes of him trying to call me as I stood there and him typing me messages in front of me went down.  He then offered to have me stay at his apartment when I was back in Reykjavik the following two nights. Nice dude, that Petur.

The next day I was greeted with a few paragraphs of texts from the fashionable priest man.  Highlights include: "U like 2 stay at my little apartment so u save some for the wool with pattern ;)" and "And then you could host me in the U$A??" I ended up passing up on his offer; crashed illegally on a hotel couch one night and hung out with a ghost hunter and listened to a dude talk about how we are all "one" the next (more to come on these). 

For now, I will leave by saying that I am not sure that I am ready to be back from my great adventures.  However, I am happy to be able to listen to "The Gentle Touch" on WBRU, and to pet my cat, duh.  "The Gentle Touch" is pulling out all the jams! Raspberry! Blackberry! So much hairbrush belting is going down right now...

Anyway, more to come. Stay classy, people!

#587,345,234,096 of what is my life right now/ever?!

So, I had to call a cab company this morning so I could get to the train station and get up to Boston for my graduation  ceremony.  I called  a few companies, and finally  get through to a dude.  I went outside to wait, the van pulls around the corner and I get  in. So far, so good.  Dude gets on the highway,  not my first choice, but it's  doable. After a few minutes, it becomes evident that we are  not going to the train station.  Meanwhile, both van dude's phone and my phone are blowing  up all of a sudden. Evidently, a girl in the next apartment  over from mine called  for a car service at the exact  same time that I had, and I stole her van man. What strikes me is the fact that my street is like three feet  long. Seriously,  what are the chances?! Anyway, my neighbor lady is freaking  out and the other cab dude  keeps calling  and yelling at me. It's not even 6:15 am people.  I finally get to the train, and some dude from match.com is sitting across from me. I get up and move.  I literally  cannot deal with  that right  now either. 

Anyway. While this doesn't even come close to  my strangest cab experiences (man playing a flute while driving  me prob  tops the list), it certainly was a great wtf to start my day.

KILLING IT.

So, I've been pretty much non killing it for the last three months to five years.  Here's the reasoning: I mean, life.  Dude, it's exhausting being alive.  One has got to work and go to school and talk to people.  How does one maintain??

Well, today, I had a good day, Ice Cube style.

For one, I killed it at work.  I was all teaching like whoa and not sweating the small stuff.

Then, I did super adult stuff.  For instance,I  actually tackled my to-do list. It's been the same to-do list for the entire winter, rewritten in multiple notebooks, and consistently looming over my head.  Fun stuff---figure out student loans, reschedule physical appointment, file a claim of sorts. Done. Done. Done. Granted, taxes, a whole other story... And well, by figuring out student loans, that basically means I called a bunch of peeps up and told them I had no idea what I did when I previously pulled an adult and consolidated.  Still, progress.

Next up, yoga.  While there seems to be a lack of hot guys lately, I am dealing by not being terrible at my practice all of a sudden.  It's like bam! Wheel, got this. Camel, holla. And, Boy George, finally nailed that crow.  And today, my instructor held my feet up and I did a headstand and while it kind of hurt my head and I needed assisting, what a rush, I tell ya. Good stuff.

Then, I came home, and do you know what I did? I ate adult food, like chicken and spinach, and I made a killer mixed cd for cruising to work (entitled: Get it right. Get it tight). To top it off, I made bacon so I can have a bacon and avocado something at some point tomorrow.

Part of the reason that I am (hopefully) emerging from the winter funk for the rest of the year, is that not only do I have good peeps in my corner, but I'm cheerleading myself like a crazy. There has been a definite increase in singing aloud in public assuring myself that it's just life, no biggie smalls. It's working people.  So, even if you look a little nutter butters because you're singing "you got this. what what what" in public, I totally recommend it and assure you that it is worth the what-are-you-on-right-now looks.

Plus, it's almost summer and it will be a breezy 80 degrees and life will be so splendid.

As usual, this was pretty pointless.

Belated Condolence Cards?

Earlier I wrote a post about my two wonderings of the day: 1. a question regarding a Coolio lyric and 2. am I moving my arms enough while walking?

A third thought has now entered my mind:

3. So, I'm into greeting cards.  They are a dying form of communication.  I often buy them, but the reality of me actually sending them is another matter.  A couple of posts ago I wrote about a shark valentine.  I cannot send it currently because I don't have a boyfriend and randomly sending it to anyone else would be pretty creepy.  I have a few more random and equally awesome cards stored away, waiting for the right moment.  Now, here's the thing.  When sending a card, you need a. a recipient b. a stamp and c. to mail it.  I often have a combo of the two but generally not at the same time. Sometimes I get to the c. (mailing it) part and nothing happens.  I just can't make it to c.  The problem with this is, so yeah, a belated birthday card---acceptable, within reason.  I'm usually out of reason in that I send the card that I bought before your birthday around 5 months after your birthday, but still, it's sort of acceptable.   Right now, I have some hey you're having a baby, thinking of you, and condolence cards to mail out, all of which should have been mailed out 1-2 weeks ago.  Okay, so hey you're having a baby I can probably get away with not sending for a couple of more months, ya know, until the baby actually happens.  But condolence cards? How can you send a belated condolence card? It's like sorry your boyfriend broke up with you 3 months ago. Sorry your pet died 8 months ago.  I really need to buy stamps tomorrow or else I'm essentially going to be mailing dear friends a lot of miserable memories.  Ah!

And that was my third thought of the day. Back to practicing the worm. I think I am actually getting it!

Gangsta's Paradise

The snow is making me legit stir crazy.  I need to run 10 miles outside immediately or I'm going to lose it.  Since that is not actually a possibility right now, I am settling by practicing the worm, with the strobe light disco ball on, and blasting hip hop music.  This post right here, it is literally just a commercial break from the worm.

Speaking of hip hop music, I keep wondering about a line in Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise".  Fun Fact: I did a jazz routine this song when I was 9ish.  Anyway.  In the song, he goes, "I'm 23 now, but will I live to see 24.  The way things are going I don't know."  I always wonder: was he really 23 when he wrote this song? I tried doing math today and I think he would have been more like 30 something, but maybe he was talking about when he actually wrote the song? Or maybe he is just being all metaphorical? Is it weird that this is what is going on in my head? Kind of a lot too? Like I've thought about this numerous times in my life.

I had one other thought today (slow thought day).  I was walking down the street and was wondering if I was moving my arms enough.  I think they move at a normal pace generally, but with winter and sleeping bag coats, I feel like stiffness or something creeps in, and then I am reminded of the Summer of George Seinfeld episode where Elaine's co-worker (Molly Shannon) doesn't move her arms enough.  

Yoga/Valentine's Day/Role Models.

Yoga class update: original good looking fella has a girlfriend. No, I am not above straight up asking the yoga teacher the status of dudes in class.  There is a another gent in class who has a nice face. I am not getting my hopes up though.  It seems that straight + single are hard to find in the middle of an up-dog so I'm not wasting my time.

Though, single dudes: what are you thinking?! Yoga is the perfect place to go to meet ladies. They are all wearing tight pants.  I don't get it.

Speaking of singledom, I am actually totally fine with being single on Valentine's Day.  I think I'd rather have a boyfriend during the 4th of July anyways.  Though, today I did buy a nice greeting card I would like to send someone some day.

Who wouldn't love to receive this gem in the mail?! So, yes, that is the reason I think a boyfriend on Valentine's Day would be nice: shark cards.

And here is why being a teacher is nice:

Q: Who is your role model?

A: Miss. F. because she is great at everything.

You hear that? Miss F. aka Killah K is GREAT AT EVERYTHING.

And you know, kids only tell the truth so....

In other news, I passed a cemetery the other day and swear a large tombstone read FATSY on it.  My friend suggested that maybe it actually read PATSY??

And in weather news, I'm really hoping that March goes straight-up into lamb. None of that lion business.

Overheard/Groundhog's Day/Patriots/Winter

Recently Overheard, Children to Adults:

1. Can I ask you something serious though? Do you believe in the legend of Hercules?
2. You definitely don't want to eat a blow-up fish.

Groundhog's Day

A national treasure. Prior to when the big day hit, I was discussing it with one of my students.  I asked him if he knew what a groundhog looked like, which led to the discussion of what the difference was between groundhogs, beavers, and woodchucks. Is there a difference? Are they all the same? And then I felt bad because it is sort of a racist thing to say.  Obviously not all large rodents look the same.

I had a snow day on actual Groundhog's Day and spent it watching Groundhog's Day, naturally.  That movie is spectacular, but also feels pretty real life these days. For instance, I literally have had no idea what day it is at all for the last two weeks.  Well, I guess that is kind of the opposite of Groundhog's Day though, considering that Mr. Bill Murray is very aware of what the date is.

Anyway, this happened on Groundhog's Day, real life: Groundhog bites mayor. I can't say I blame the little fellow.  Being rudely awoken at an ungodly hour is pretty not cool.

Dates

I was talking to my high school student today about dates, as in numerical today is blah blah blah kind of dates and somehow the following came from my mouth: "There are three kinds of dates. Dates, food, dates, like today is, and dates as in let's go to the movies. Which date do you like the most? I like dates, the food the best."

She told me that that was a really weird thing to say.

The Patriots

Okay, not going to lie, I am one of those New England Patriots fans, sue me.  The Super Bowl basically gave me a full-on anxiety attack.  It was when I decided to do sprints from the living room down the hall and back that they started to improve so I then found myself sprinting between plays for the majority of the second half.  I get annoyed when people hate on the Patriots, but have learned to take it in stride.  This is not about being a fan or not, but really about the deeper issues of a.) haters gonna hate b.) jealousy is a mean ol' mofo and c.) sometimes it is best to keep the talk to the minimum.  I am just going to lightly touch upon a. and b. Okay, there are a lot of peeps who may seem like they have it all and you may want to find fault with them, but maybe they actually worked hard for it ? Maybe because they worked hard it doesn't mean they are actually bad people? It doesn't actually mean they are good people either.  It just doesn't mean peeps gotta act a fool as a result.  C. is my favorite though.  Bill Belichick is often regarded as totes the worst for his one line answers, but honestly, one liners are something that I would like to get more into.  Well, one liners I have, but then they are usually followed by 5 paragraphs of nonsense.  Sometimes, the less said, the better (as I continue to write more about nothing...see!).

Winter

I don't understand what is happening outside.  Sure, I grew up in New England and all that jazz, but I still don't get it.  I see people running outside.  I ran outside on New Years Eve and nearly froze my jiblets off. Mid-run, I wondered to myself, why am I running outside when it is literally freezing and going to hot yoga in the summer? Something is very wrong here.  So, I wised up and have been hot yoga-ing like a mofo and steering clear of outside jogs.  Until yesterday, aka super cold day, where I decided a run needed to happen.  So, I got all layered up.  My winter running attire is atrocious.  I basically look crazy, but it is dark out and no one can see me anyways so who cares. So, I'm outside, and immediately my Raynaud's start acting up.  For those of you who don't know, Raynaud's is a lovely ditty where one's hands and feet start turning really strange colors and get all prickly in the cold. That's happening but I am determined.  I am holding onto the sides of houses to prevent myself from falling. I can hardly not fall when there is no ice, with ice, it is really not pretty. I finally get to the park.  Duh. It's not cleared at all. It is sheets of ice and snow. All in all, I walked like .7 miles in 20 minutes because inching along is basically all I could handle.  I tried walking today, and once again, nearly froze and slipped to my death en route. I have seen people running though! I have seen them! I drive by them. How do they do it?! I do not understand! Speaking of driving, dude, if I can barely handle driving in perfect weather, driving on sheets of ice in snow is basically complete terrible town.  Though, every time I drive and not get into an accident, and walk and not fall down, I get really proud of myself. So, I guess really, winter is building my self-esteem or something.

The end?

This is literally about nothing.

Conversation that happened ten minutes ago:

Me: I hate snow, man. Man...and men. Snowmen I am okay with. That's weird.

And no, I don't actually hate men. They're great!  To be all metaphorical and shiz, however, if men were snow, I am consistently finding the kind my neighbor's dog has already peed on.

Conversation was followed by this:

 That moment when you dump an entire container of rosemary onto your chicken.

This moment just comes days after this:

 The moment when you microwave your lunch in plastic.  The toxins really added a bit of punch to the flavor. True story.

And here, for your viewing pleasure, cat in a box:

Married Cousins.

The other day one of my students was talking about her parents.  I asked her how they met.  She casually said, "they were cousins." Then her face changed as reality sunk in. "THEY WERE COUSINS? COUSINS? IS THAT OKAY?!" she repeated for literally three minutes.  I responded with, "Yeah, totally fine. I mean, not having cousins makes dating really hard these days."

True story.

She went on.  "There's so much crying?"
Me: "Crying? Who's crying?"
Student: "I don't know. Everyone is crying. They can't find anyone to date and they cry. It's like, you've got ten years, then you can start worrying." You know, until you're like 21, she is basically saying.

I found this all to be quite funny.

Anyway. I'm completely over winter/boys/ACCESS test (standard mandatory blahs that I have to administer).

This one dude I saw on Tinder totally used the pics of a famous Polish actor and claimed to be him.  Took me like a day to figure it out. Should have taken me no time because there are literally no guys that attractive in the New England region. Shocking though, hot Polish guys?! I lived in a very Polish neighborhood and there were no hot guys there.

Winter is the worst. It takes me ten minutes to walk one feet.

People are the second worst.

Testing is lame.

I am going to go shop for a palm tree now.

Fender Bender Nixon.

Driving...

Ah. I was getting so good at it.

I was almost at the point where I'd occasionally have only one hand on the wheel.

The point where I was almost glad I traded in the cold walks to the subway with the scraping of the car windows.

The point where I could actually handle switching lanes.  

And then it happened: Backing out of my driveway, I somehow managed to hit a sign in my actual driveway. I was backing out, yes, but somehow the fender got stuck and well, bad news bears. Welcome to my life. Naturally, I was on my way to yoga. This is basically the opposite of yoga.  The deep breathing and all that must be paying off however because I wasn't even stressed! Not at all. The one teeny minute of WHAT?! came in as my dad called me as I was talking to my mom on the phone (they were in the same room), and then the auto-dude beeped in, but I recovered quickly from all the beeps and whatnot.  It also became a great opportunity for neighborly bonding as my neighbors Will and John forged together to take off the remaining part of my fender.  Good times.  And while I am not super pleased with the idea that my little funds will be going towards this instead of a road trip or whatnot, driving around fenderless will be sort of badass. I mean, why do I need to go anywhere during February break when I can re-watch Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee and eat burritos from the comfort of my own living room?!  Ideally, I would be able to get the same color in the fender replacement, but part of me would be okay with the fender being metallic gold or hot pink just for the ridiculous factor.

Speaking of Presidents Day, my friend was telling me about her second annual Prez shindig that she is throwing (which I wanted to go to, but since it is in NYC and I am officially broker, will probably have to pass). So, anyway.  The shindig, evidently it is great fun, but I suggested that perhaps dressing as a president should probably also happen?! And then, without warning, my mind flashed back to 7th grade when I read Nixon's memoirs and presented them to the class via Nixon sock puppet.  And then it hit me: I emphasized with Nixon because I felt that he must truly, really be sorry, this is what my sweet 7th grade self thought. But here's the thing, just because you think someone may be sorry for Watergate, doesn't mean they need you to make a sock puppet out of them. What I'm trying to say is that you can forgive peeps for acting a-fool but you don't have to play into it; you don't have to be Nixonized.  Did any of this make sense to anyone besides me?! Also, who reads Nixon's memoirs in 7th grade? Also, I am a liberal lady.

And that is all, Time to eat.

Post food revelation: I don't think I actually care about this fender loss/having to spend money on a new fender because I think I have officially given my last shiiiiiiiiiitz in general on stuff. It's a pretty wonderful feeling.  And now that I ate a burrito bowl and some brownies, I am going to make the worst decision of the day: yoga attempt #2. I really don't think one should go immediately after such meals....But as aforementioned, I could really care less!!!

Random in Review.

1. Sketchy guys on Amtrak---not into it.  So, I was on the train to NY on Friday and this older gent sits next to me and starts talking.  I am really bad at avoiding eye contact and not talking, so it turned into a 4 hour chat.  Three hours in, he asked for my number. Agh. Sometimes it is hard to say no, with there being an hour left and all, and the conversation isn't actually bad, but realistically, do I want to hang out with this way older man?? No. And then afterwards, there is the realization that the entire trip was actually sketchy and then you feel sketchy and bad.  But, on an a bright note---a couple of things to take from this.  One being that I have realized (for the millionth time) that fake numbers/nice rejections need to be on-hand at all times. Secondly, if you are looking to get a number or a yes to a proposal, the train with an hour left is a really good option for not getting rejected.  That, or in the middle of the night.  My best friend got proposed to when she was half asleep.  Dude had it in the bag! That, and she loves him and stuff.

2. Pants---so over them.  Once a year I try to put on pants and it just doesn't go well. I don't understand them.  They are long and hang in weird areas.  I have officially given up on them and have basically gone to tights/leggings with a dress in the winter.  I gotta say, the tights/leggings situation is also starting to get me down.  I walked around on Saturday in fleece-lined leggings that kept falling down to uncomfortable areas and I simply could not deal with my life.  I was honestly about ready to give up.  I think the moral of the story is that I need it to be summer and I just want to be free.

3. "Wild"--Reece Witherspoon movie.  My friend really wanted to see this because she was under the impression that it would be inspirational.  It was pretty inspirational, but mainly, I have realized how  much I don't want to do heroin.  I never really thought about doing heroin. I am fairly certain I would be terrible at it, especially considering that I am not good with fire and pass out with needles.  "Wild" has further emphasized my non-desire to add junkie to my extracurricular activities.  It has also made me not want to cheat on my non-existent husband.  I would, however, consider backpacking through the wilderness for 6 days, maximum.

4. Getting low as a way to express oneself.  5 stars.

5. Cute guys in yoga---mixed bag. Initially, I was pretty stoked to see an attractive, non-married, heterosexual dude partaking in limbering activities.  But in all honesty, his attractiveness made it harder for me to breathe properly and I fell down multiple times as a result.

6. Gospel music.  5 stars.  I went to my friend's mom's gospel performance on Sunday.  Amazing.  So much.  That is some ish that I can get into. So much clapping and (naturally) singing, right in my voice range, I'm telling you, I'm legit looking into joining a gospel choir.  Gospel choir will be my heroin,