Birthday's Fast Approaching!!

My Birthday is right around the corner. I can only imagine what will happen this year. Every year something strange seems to go down.

Highlights of Birthdays Past:

Age 6-Got a pink tutu and a big bird doll. Best gifts ever.

Age 7-Had a party where all of the rich neighborhood girls sported their best dress and I was rockin' jeans and my fave shirt which had a bunny wearing sunglasses on it. We decorated mugs.

Second Grade Bday Party: Had a rabbit named Bucky who we bought off some folks. They had caught Bucky from the wild and the little guy was a terror, very much into biting and non-niceties. Our vet told my mom that we could let Bucky hop around in the yard and then he'd come back in the house calmer. This worked nicely for weeks, until my party when my dog Poochie ran after Bucky and KILLED HIM, interrupting a fun game of ring around the rosy.

Lots of pool parties and make your own burrito shindigs happened in the next few years...

16th Birthday was fun and sort of normal. My friend threw me a surprise birthday party and the boy I hearted biked over for it. He gave me a hip hop cd with "Rappers Delight" on it because I had rapped it on our school's television show.

18th Birthday was also the day of our Senior Superlative Dinner. I went home with the "Most Talkative" award which meant I got a plastic cell phone filled with weird candy.

21st Birthday was a complete shit show. My birthday fell on a Monday that year. I was working at City Sports in Boston at the time and had purposely requested a 9am shift on my day of birth so I would not go out and get drunk at midnight but instead go out on Monday night. Failure. Midnight rolls around and my two friends are buzzing my apartment. We went to the worst bars ever. We went to some place to shoot pool where I drank something called The Grateful Dead and met really sketchy guys who wanted to bring us to Dorchester. We then went to our campus' main bars, also pretty lame. I got REALLY wasted. Granted, I DID show up to work on time. The problem here however is that I threw up on merchandise. I had to damage out running pants and since I could not find the sku number, they kept getting sent back to the store. GROSS. They obviously sent me home early. At around 10:30am, I threw up on the street in front of a police officer. I then proceeded to throw up nonstop until 5pm. That night I went to the movies to see "Crash" because, yeah, that's uplifting.

Age 22- The night of my 22nd was also my brother's last night living in Boston. He had just accepted a job in Santa Barbara. So, he REALLY wanted to celebrate. We walked around Downtown Boston and he was relentlessly shouting "Portuguese Caesar". We then went to his favorite hangout, a strip club in Chinatown called The Glass Slipper. Fun thing to do with your brother. He was seeing one of the ladies at the time. I told the bartender I liked the glasses they served the drinks in so he gave me some as a birthday gift. My parents now drink juice out of them. They have no idea.

Age 25-I was at a bar kickin' it with some friends, when this guy I had professed love to multiple times from age 20-23 showed up. I did not invite him. I had not seen him in over a year (the last time I had professed love to him by saying: "I was in love with you when you were lazy, when your band sucked and even now that you have side bangs."). We have mutual friends and he knew I was going to be there. He then proceeded to talk to me for around 2 hours. Fun times. Irrelevant, but his present girlfriend is a LADY GAGA IMPERSONATOR. Aaah....Really?!