I'm Lost.

I've come to the realization that if I drive anywhere outside of my normal 20 mile radius, I'm 100% getting lost, gps system present or not.  You'd think this would upset me or that I'd learn, but strangely I'm just proud to always eventually get unlost.  This may take 45 minutes to an hour, but if I make it home at all, I feel like I've succeeded.  Moreover, my confidence actually grows from making it home alive.  Many feel that cars give you freedom, but in my case, they only give me the freedom to get completely lost.

As I was aimlessly driving, blasting "Xxplosive" and other amazing jams from my newly made cd mix (yes, I'm still doing cds), I had the epiphany that not only do I have merely a vague idea as to where I am going street-wise, I also only have a vague idea as to where I'm going any-wise.  It's really all a crapshoot. And strangely enough, I'm okay with this (today anyway).

Saturday I'm driving an hour and a half to Pt. Judith to sail along the Block Island Ferry. I'll prob. leave like 3 hours before departure just to give me enough time to take multiple wrong turns.

Other highlights from the day:

1. Tuna sandwich-why the hell not?!

2. Honey Dew iced coffee-pretty smooth!

3. I've been peeing ever since-don't give a damn!!

4. Accidentally swallowing a cherry pit-who cares!

CD Mix!

1. Amen-Meek Mill feat Drake

2. Can't Tell Me Nothing-Kanye West

3. Climax-Usher

4. End of Time-Beyonce

5. Evil-Interpol

6. Hang Me up To Dry-Cold War Kids

7. Heart In A Cage-The Stokes

8. An Honest Mistake-The Bravery

9. It Was A Good Day-Ice Cube

10. Mercy-Kanye West

11. Never Scared REMIX-Bone Crusher

12. O.N.E.-Yeasayer

13.Only You-Mase, 112, Notorious B.I.G.

14. Pursuit of Happiness-Kid Cudi

15. Sweet Dreams-Beyonce

16. Wait (The Whisper Song)-Ying Yang Twins

17. Walkin' On The Move-The-Dream and Kanye West

18. Xxplosive-Dr. Dre

I know, I know, these songs are very not deep and very what-is-your-taste-in-music, but they also emit a definite "I don't give a damn" vibe which is what I'm going for. Lost? I don't give a damn!

Typical Day.

Today I worked with some little kids, two of whom (jokingly) attacked me, saying they were going to eat my entire head for dinner. Delicious! Another kid actually did bite me, twice. Good times!

After all that fun, I went to the doc's for a urine test, standard stuff.  I'm basically a peein' machine yet I didn't find this to be the easiest task.  Better than the blood test a couple of weeks ago where I tried to distract myself by discussing frogs with the nurse before passing out and waking up to smelling salts, juice, and an ice pack.  As I was coming to, a dude waltzes in, gets his blood drawn, and is out while I'm still sitting there.

Today in waiting room number 1 some guy started talking to me.  He now knows my entire life story. We also discussed: cults, karma, roofs and ice, roofs and heat.

In waiting room number 2, another dude asked me if I was Portuguese.  We then discussed the weather, Fall River, chourice, Cape Verde, and being messes of life.

Off topic, but I've discovered a new way to de-stress: weeding. My sister bought a house so my mom and I were helping her tame her wild-ass yard. They opted for tools, while I used my bare hands to rip everything in sight up.  I was seriously covered in dirt Pig Pen style but felt quite relaxed.

Dangling Arms and Limbo.

The summertime has me thinking about arms out the window and I gotta say, I don't understand it. I see arms dangling from cars all of the time and I decided I'd try but it just isn't comfortable. Maybe it's because my arms are short. I also fear that I will lose a limb. Does no one else ever feel that way??

Speaking of short limbs, Katie and I were out the other day and saw a police blockade which made my mind automatically think of hurdles/limbo, neither of which I am good at.  I tried hurdles once in high school track but forgot to jump.  That'll hurt the shins let me tell you!  Katie and I got to talkin' about the limbo and neither of us are good at it, nor do we like it, despite being non-tall. I don't know if it's the pressure, like people would assume we would be good at it or what, but we both get a little anxious if the game is going on and also cheat.  Heads-up, seven-up used to make me a bit anxious too.  Like, what if I think someone tapped me but no one did? Or what if I think Michael tapped me but I have a crush on Michael so I can't actually say I think it was him because then obviously he would know....

Yeah.

Great hair day/Sinatra!

I'm having an exceptionally good hair day and no one is around to notice it.  First world problem big time.  I'd consider taking a picture of it but I don't know how to take a picture of myself without looking like THAT GIRL.  You know that girl who takes pics of herself on her webcam and is pretty gross yet everyone likes her photos.  Except I don't have a webcam (and don't sit around taking pis of myself).  I have a phone I bought on amazon.  Anyway, the only breathing creatures around me to ask to take a photo of my hair are Rags and a couple of wild turkeys in my back yard.  Exciting stuff out here in the country.

In addition, after having a go-getter Monday, I have not accomplished a damn thing today.  After staring at my computer for two hours or so, while taking breaks to get low and check out the turkeys, I found the willpower to respond to two whole emails.

Since I've basically come to terms with the fact that I'm a waste of space today, I have refocused my attention for the last 45 minutes on deciding between going for a run and making myself an iced coffee.

Today's gonna be a long one!

Thank the high heavens for this amazing video highlighting the Great Ol' Blue Eyes' letter to Mike Royko.

Best lines ever:

1."Quite frankly, I don't understand why people don't spit in your eye three or four times a day."

2. "I will allow you to pull my "hairpiece". If it moves, I will give you another $100,000, if it does not, I punch you in the mouth. How bout it?"

More guys need to be like this.

Hipster Weight.

My fab sister posted this on her Facebook: 

It made me chuckle.  I also like it because it is further proof that I am NOT a hipster despite my brother's jabs at family functions.  Sure, I don't own baggy pants. Actually, I pretty much straight up avoid pants (too constricting!).  Granted, I worked at a music venue and lived in Brooklyn.  BUT. I cannot ride a bike, am not in a band, and do not know the first thing about Instagram. Plus, there is really nothing ironic about this lady. Ridiculous, but not ironic. So, there!

Providence Waterfire with Bird.

Where: Providence, RI
Scene: A mass of people waiting around, both patiently and borderline silently, for a guy riding around in a gondola to light up fire pits along the river.
Reminds me of: When Bird and I lived together in college and we ordered a gondola shaped pizza from a local pizzeria.

This is a bad picture of the dude who lights the fires:  


This photo certainly does NOT give the ridiculousness of the situation justice.  The guy takes his time, I'm talkin' a good four minutes per fire pit.  He does some crazy winding motions with the fire sticks, really drawing out the whole shabang.  He is bald except for his lengthy ponytail and is wearing black pants with flames on them.  We decided that when he is not lighting water on fire, he probably is either a martial arts instructor or works at Hot Topic.

Once the river is ablaze, the crowd begins to chatter excitedly while staring at the flames.  Bird and I can only handle staring at one thing for so long, so we decide to wander.  We stumble upon a swingfest.  Who knew that basically everyone in this tiny state capital knew how to jitterbug?! Pretty much everyone is hardcore digging the scene....except for this kid:

NOT INTO IT!!!!!

And finally, we couldn't leave before I got my fortune from some statue artist people.  Put a dollar in their bucket, and they will give you your fortune via a piece of green paper.  These guys must be bankin'...and for what?! And yet, always curious on fortune fronts, a dollar I did give.  My fortune reads: "act now upon your wishes".  Damn straight!

After all of this hoopla, I naturally got insanely lost driving home.  I'm talking driving an hour and a half in the wrong direction. That's what happens when the gps system is programmed to be "off road".  Awesome.  And this is why I need a subway system....

Singles Shot.

I keep passing this Rite Aid and doing a double take because I think it says that SINGLE shots are now available (as in shots for single people). Finally! A remedy for my kind! I'm unsure if such a shot would help singletons sow their wild oats and get their lives/careers in check more quickly so they are ready to settle, or if it would have the opposite affect and increase one's independence even more so. Verdict is out on that one. I guess it doesn't matter however because there is no single shots, just shingle shots....

And even though I pass this store on the regs, I literally have to correct myself every time.

Also, looks like the Walgreens across the street is jumping on board with this one.