Raaaaaanhnnntttssss.....

I forgot how sick I am of the saying "no worries". People throw that back like it's water or something. For one, I never said I was worried, thanks though. And for two, when a phrase is used that much, it loses its meaning. Thirdly, use the phrase correctly if you are going to use it. Last night, someone asked me where the bathroom was or something along those lines and then said "no worries" after I told her. Fuck off. People that use that phrase say it in such a "I'm so carefree" way. Eat it. And it's almost like they're doing you a favor somehow. Like they're insinuating that you're worked up or they want you to know they're not. It's dumb. 


Another rant. 


Singer/songwriter pussy shit. Oh, I'm so sad, let me cover La Roux's "Bulletproof" acoustic. No thanks. Sorry none of your relationships have worked out and you're crying on stage. Thank you and move on.


Also, please tip your waitress/bartender. Rough times. Granted, the majority of the crowd was foreign. There was one American dude who accidentally slipped his keys in my tip jar. I got them out for him and he said "I put some quarters in there too. You can keep those." Oh, well gee thanks. I do love laundry. Also, they weren't quarters, they were nickels. He said "I'm broke". I said he could have gotten a cheaper beer.


The end! A merry day awaits us!

GWAR, Motorhead, Toilet Bowl.

February was the longest shortest month ever. Sure, there is plenty to report and yeah, maybe in 3 months, I'll actually get to it. But since I really only liked one day out of the month, let's just let it be for now. Actually though, I really did like seeing GWAR. I was pretty depressed prior the show (boys, man) but the actual show was so insane it is literally impossible to be in poor spirits. They're essentially rock monsters. They have guns that shoot "blood" onto the audience. It's amazing. I laughed a lot. Unfortunately I was not in the proper area for a blood bath but I did throw cups. That's irrelevant but it was fun. I also went to Motorhead in February. That was something. Not as entertaining as GWAR though obviously they rocked it. My friend and I were on the immediate outskirts of the moshpit, quite terrifying. So many sweaty, large men getting thrown on me. I'm always surprised at my strength as I body check them off of me. At one point, this dude Kyle, lifted me up in the air by my CHEST, right above him. Ya just never know...

Anyhoo, this week has been a shitter, literally. I've been sick all week. This stomach is surely not made of steel. So, Monday I got back to my apartment around 3pm and could not move. I'm all achy and feel terrible town. I uncomfortably lay there, wallowing in my thoughts, an alien growing in my stomach til around midnight. when I attempt the long overdue trip to the bathroom. Well, bad news bears, I pass out in the bathroom ha. I remember being a quarter of the way with it with one arm IN the TOILET BOWL. Thankfully, I had flushed already. I somehow managed to get out the door before I passed out again. Also, a good thing is that my roommate heard me and came to my rescue with orange juice. I was a hot mess. It took me a  good 5 minutes before I figured out if I had taken my contacts out or not (I hadn't). I didn't make it back to my bed for another hour....

Winter Doldrums Be Gone!!!

Winter doldrums are killing me. I'm incredibly tired, lack motivation and want to constantly gorge on food. The other day I got in my gym clothes and miserably sat for hours before I said F THAT, showered and baked a banana bread. Bad news bears folks! I wanted to overcome such a downward spiral so today I made myself go to the gym! I popped multiple vitamin ds and chewed a ton of vitamin c (mainly because I wanted to eat)!I bought myself flowers, color yellow!I drank a delicious cappuccino! Additionally, I always go for the larger drink size these days because 3/4 of it ends up on my coat...After all of this, a seriously old (yet lovely) man on my street told me I looked exhausted. AH! Is there any hope?! Well, I DID pick up my laundry (too tired to do it myself) but the smell is simply exquisite! Smelling my freshly laundered clothes is seriously the highlight of my week!!!...is that sad?! In other news, last night I bought a semi-friend a drink and he spilled the entire thing over me...Ah, such is life.

Using the Gut and Being Ruthless!!!

I've had a breakthrough week! I have become completely ruthless! I am following my gut! And I realized how much I really likey myself! Win! Win! Win! First off, I broke up with one of my friends! This has been a long time coming. I met this girl in middle school, because hey, it's middle school and who else are you going to be friends with?! We remained semi-close, on and off, until college, when I met a lot of other people. Said friend would call a lot, "Why aren't we catching up?! We don't talk as much as we used to?!" type shit. Annoying shit. Needy shit. Don't get me wrong, she is a good person, we've had good times, but the we must talk/hang out all of the time thing-not a fan. Plus, she wasn't bringing much to the table. Numerous times I tried to gently tell her we've just grown apart. Oh but not anymore. She wrote on my facebook wall Wednesday "can we please reconnect". I hadn't responded by Thursday and so she wrote under her own post "guess not". Um, passive agressive much! I ended that shit. I even turned direct, when she said I shouldn't be too busy for friendship, I reiterated with, "I am not too busy for people I want to be friends with."

I also quit a new job! Yay me! I am the type of person who feels guilty quitting anything and who also feels bad if I am not working an insane amount. There was a period over the summer where I literally worked 24 days in a row, including 17 hour days! No joke. I recently started this new bar job and I hated it right away. The gut was saying no, no, no! I worked Friday night, the night I was SUPPOSED to go see Wanda Jackson with Jack White. I worked for 9 hours. I got hit on by terrible people. The bar became a disgusting CLUB atmosphere. I made $39!!!! THIRTY-NINE DOLLARS IN NINE HOURS!! Saturday, I quit via text message!! And I do not feel bad! Whoa! Who am I?! Ruthless! and not caring!!

To Smiley Face or Not to Smiley Face?!

I like this dude and I'm quite c'est la vie, what's meant to be is meant to be, non-crazy in regards to him but every once in awhile I get in my head. His birthday was the other day and I texted him a simple "Happy Birthday!!" and to which I received (an almost immediate!) response of "Thank You! :) " And then I was sad because I am a girl and I get in my head. "Thank you"?! Who writes that?! I mean, REALLY, what else would he write?! But still...was not satisfied. Furthermore, I began a random polling of how people thought about guys utilizing the smiley face in text messages. And by random, I mean EVERYONE. I worked last night at a terrible bar (that's a different blog entry!) and asked every guy customer, everyone I worked with, friends...everyone. This one, older man in the bar (think: creep!), told he me uses the smiley ALL OF THE TIME, as in borderline problem usage. This other group of dudes were quite against the whole smiley face thing, though one of them said he addicted to the winkey face. I, as well as all the other guys, completely cringed at his statement he justified it with the fact that he is from Peru (ah, yeah??). Those fellows listened to my scenario however and did think the smiley face in my particular situation was good and not to worry about it. My cousin's boyfriend said he does not even know how to create a smiley face. He and my cousin agree however that this smiley face paired with immediate response is better than worse as in does not mean dude hates me. We all agree that too much smiley face usage means the guy is a pussy. My mom's explanation makes the most sense: "Thank you doesn't mean 'thank you I hate you' and it doesn't mean 'thank you I love you.' It means thank you."

Stop Asking Me..

1. What kind of music I like.
2. If I can tell you a joke.


The end.

Holiday Wrap Up!

Holidays were a blast. This post should have happened so two weeks ago but let's let that slide. Santa brought me so some excellent treats! Favorites include: mattress cover, bed bug repellent and stepping stool from the parents. Whenever I tell anyone I received a mattress pad and bed bug repellent they ask if I have bed bugs and my answer is no and now I'm not going to, damn it! But I WILL go to the movies and ride the subway without fear! Additionally, the repellent smells miraculously amaazzzzing! Very cinnamony. I think it's all natural-ooh la la!  My sister bought my self-help books: How To Make Every Man Want You and also Life's a Bitch Then You Change Careers, along with a gingerbread making kit. SWEET. My bro hit me up with a new pair of running kicks. Possibly if I get in shape AND read How To Make Every Man Want You I'll be totally irresistible. Actually, not to toot my own horn, but I am pretty sure I AM already irresistible. This guy I met literally twice before came to my work the other day and tried to make out with me. I was like, "No thanks but I'll walk you to the door!" The next week when I worked a couple approached me and the dude told his girl to go to the bathroom and then proceeded to tell me I looked young, he likes them young. He then came back and gave me his info. I asked about the lady he was trying to get drunk and he said "oh we're just friends". Yeaaahhhh. I'll totally call you. No. Guess those Christmas gifts are working better than I could have imagined! Ah, terrible town! In other news, sad news...the yodeling lederhosen I was beyond excited to give my dad-it's  on backorder! That's right! I had to get put on the waiting list for YODELING LEDERHOSEN.