Holiday Wrap Up!

Holidays were a blast. This post should have happened so two weeks ago but let's let that slide. Santa brought me so some excellent treats! Favorites include: mattress cover, bed bug repellent and stepping stool from the parents. Whenever I tell anyone I received a mattress pad and bed bug repellent they ask if I have bed bugs and my answer is no and now I'm not going to, damn it! But I WILL go to the movies and ride the subway without fear! Additionally, the repellent smells miraculously amaazzzzing! Very cinnamony. I think it's all natural-ooh la la!  My sister bought my self-help books: How To Make Every Man Want You and also Life's a Bitch Then You Change Careers, along with a gingerbread making kit. SWEET. My bro hit me up with a new pair of running kicks. Possibly if I get in shape AND read How To Make Every Man Want You I'll be totally irresistible. Actually, not to toot my own horn, but I am pretty sure I AM already irresistible. This guy I met literally twice before came to my work the other day and tried to make out with me. I was like, "No thanks but I'll walk you to the door!" The next week when I worked a couple approached me and the dude told his girl to go to the bathroom and then proceeded to tell me I looked young, he likes them young. He then came back and gave me his info. I asked about the lady he was trying to get drunk and he said "oh we're just friends". Yeaaahhhh. I'll totally call you. No. Guess those Christmas gifts are working better than I could have imagined! Ah, terrible town! In other news, sad news...the yodeling lederhosen I was beyond excited to give my dad-it's  on backorder! That's right! I had to get put on the waiting list for YODELING LEDERHOSEN.