The Zoo

I went to the Central Park Zoo a couple of weeks ago, mainly because I'd seriously rather be around animals than people...How sad is that?! Anyway. My friend and I rushed in so we could catch the penguin feeding. I've been a fan of those guys since before they starting having hit movies every other week. All of a sudden, a voice started talking to us. One of those not British but maybe should have been older voices. We turned to see a volunteer lady talking to us about the penguins. She said that we must come back in the spring because that is when they put a bunch of stones in the tank so the little guys can start building homes. Way to be specific, it IS spring. Once again, anyway. So. She told us that one year a penguin built his fort so high that they called him Trump. Ha ha. She also informed of us that male penguins are supposed to offer a stone to the lady of his choosing and then they hang out in his fort for a bit and make a little pinguino. She said they do this ever year. I asked if they stay with the same lady. She said not always. Sad I thought. She said that one year there were two males just goofing off together and they neglected to offer any lady a stone. Speculations of their sexuality started to swirl. The following year they both approached the same lady however. The zoo peeps then believed that new just needed to have fun and goof off and be young. Why grow up so fast?! One year a penguin offered his stone to one of the ladies (human sort) that cleaned up his area. He probably thought, she gives me food, cleans up after me, in the very least I could offer her a stone and mate with her. Good thinking boy. After my friend and I thanked the voice for her knowledge, she started to tell the same story to some other youngish women. I over heard one of the women ask the same question I had about mating for life. She looked disappointed too.


All in all, the zoo was a good call. The one human we interacted with told us some nice stories and then we got to leave her. No harm, no foul. Well, except for those chicken in the petting zoo...and the pinguinos....and the exotic dudes in that sauna-like area. 


Bad blog. Ah.

How soon is now?!

Oh brother. How bad of a sign is it when you can start relating to songs by The Smiths?! Does this warrant seeking out a counselor of some sort? I find myself often wondering (often aloud, often in public-aagh!), HOW SOON IS NOW?! It's all good. Thank you crazy  man from Kurt Vile/J Mascis show (and last entry) for being so adamant in telling me that EVERYTHING GETS BETTER!!!


On a side...My mind was a roller coaster of wtf last night, of course impairing my sleep. I did not catch those elusive zzz's til way past 7am. And of course when I did finally catch them, I ended up having my daily morning WEIRD dream. This one being that Wanda Gaia (her given name is Wanda but a "prophet" told her to change her name to Gaia), the cult girl with whom I had previously worked, being upset that I had not contacted her for May 21st aka JUDGEMENT DAY. Brother. I have not seen this crazy lady in months and she still haunts my dreams. I'd much rather dream about the boy I like wearing an apron again or driving a Monopoly car. Even the the dream about getting kittens neutered would be more acceptable. Subconscious, why?!

Rock 'N' Roll

Work was fun last night. A good rock 'n' roll show is hard to come by but certainly makes everything seem a lot better. Pretty stellar lineup: Call of the Wild/ Kurt Vile & the Violators/J Mascis. I see a lot of shows but good shows stand out and can raise my spirits immensely. People often approach me asking to name the best bands I've seen while working.  They always think it's an easy question but it never is. Truth is, there are a few really bad bands, a few really good bands and everyone else is in the middle and forgettable. I always say the Giraffes, the Dig, Morning Benders and Diamondsnake are my go-to's for this was GOOD.  This show also stood out to me. And I had fun working. Nice crowd. Possibly the highlight of my night was when an older gentleman approached me in the hopes of convincing me that life gets better. He fervently spoke to me for around fifteen minutes trying to make sure I realized how important it is to have guts and dream and to know IT GETS BETTER. I think he may have been on something or just drunk. He did say some stuff about people just offering him stuff. Like this one guy gave him the keys to a penthouse and now he lives there. And another friend built an amazzzzing recording studio then gave him the key to that too. He also said he used to work at a music venue. And he said he knows music but that he didn't really come for the music tonight. He came to tell me that EVERYTHING GETS BETTER. Ah. He possibly was quite insane but he gave me hope. I sort of looked at him wondering if he could be my rock angel or something? A prophet of some sort? Whatever. I like hope. And I like the idea of EVERYTHING GETTING BETTER.

People will be people...

I was meeting up with an old friend (as in been friends for years now, not literally old) and we were talking about relationships and the way people work. It appears to us that maybe guys are ambitious and into dating in their mid twenties and then get hurt or burnt out or something and then are disasters for the next seven years. And then they meet a girl they do like, early thirties and all, and cannot make a move. This talk prompted me to make the statement: "Thirty is the new pussy". This of course is not always the case. I am pretty anti-generalizations. You never know where anyone is coming from. It is just disappointing when you meet someone and click and then they want to be "just friends" even though let's face it, you don't act like just friends. Or when you're dating a guy for a couple of months and there is a spark and then they act disinterested out of nowhere, claiming there was not in enough "energy" in the relationship and that he thought it was mutual. What does that mean? Stop being a bullshitter! Say a real reason. This is not just for romantic relationships. This is for life. Why can't people just say what they mean?! Don't pussyfoot around it. Be direct. 


People in general...what is their deal?! Why are people assholes?! It's the little things that shows they are in their own world and do not care about anything else. Last night I came out of the bathroom stall at work and there were two girls blocking the sink, discussing how they have nice hair. Blah blah. They totally saw me. They did not move. I politely mentioned how I just would like to wash my hands, please and thanks. They said of course. They did not move. I said, "well that would require you to move." The girls moved an inch. I washed. Of course for me to leave the bathroom they would have to move again which of course they were too wrapped up in hair talk to give a thought to. I said: "You guys are really going to have to move now." They finally moved. Really people?! The other night at work, there was a guy standing obnoxiously close to me. There is plenty of room, move forward. This is straight up invasive. I finally ask him to please move up a little. He obliges...for like ten minutes. I turn around again and the dude is like an inch in front of me. I don't know what got into me but I pushed him. I literally put both hands on him and moved him forward. He turned around and STARED me down. Worse. Look. Ever. I calmly explained that I had asked him to move, thanks. 


The point is, is that people need to man up. They need to be direct. I've gotten to the point where I am very direct but it is frustrating being direct with someone and still getting weak responses. Man up people! Secondly, stop being an asshole. Move out of the way. Realize there are other people there. Recognize!!


With all this being said, not EVERYONE is an asshole. I am lucky and grateful to have some great friends and family so I'm going to appreciate them for not being assholes. And also remember I'm The Shiiit. I'm not an asshole and it's a great feeling.

Deli Cat of the Day

I keep falling in love with deli cats. It's inevitable.  This guy captured my soul today. 

Raaaaaanhnnntttssss.....

I forgot how sick I am of the saying "no worries". People throw that back like it's water or something. For one, I never said I was worried, thanks though. And for two, when a phrase is used that much, it loses its meaning. Thirdly, use the phrase correctly if you are going to use it. Last night, someone asked me where the bathroom was or something along those lines and then said "no worries" after I told her. Fuck off. People that use that phrase say it in such a "I'm so carefree" way. Eat it. And it's almost like they're doing you a favor somehow. Like they're insinuating that you're worked up or they want you to know they're not. It's dumb. 


Another rant. 


Singer/songwriter pussy shit. Oh, I'm so sad, let me cover La Roux's "Bulletproof" acoustic. No thanks. Sorry none of your relationships have worked out and you're crying on stage. Thank you and move on.


Also, please tip your waitress/bartender. Rough times. Granted, the majority of the crowd was foreign. There was one American dude who accidentally slipped his keys in my tip jar. I got them out for him and he said "I put some quarters in there too. You can keep those." Oh, well gee thanks. I do love laundry. Also, they weren't quarters, they were nickels. He said "I'm broke". I said he could have gotten a cheaper beer.


The end! A merry day awaits us!

GWAR, Motorhead, Toilet Bowl.

February was the longest shortest month ever. Sure, there is plenty to report and yeah, maybe in 3 months, I'll actually get to it. But since I really only liked one day out of the month, let's just let it be for now. Actually though, I really did like seeing GWAR. I was pretty depressed prior the show (boys, man) but the actual show was so insane it is literally impossible to be in poor spirits. They're essentially rock monsters. They have guns that shoot "blood" onto the audience. It's amazing. I laughed a lot. Unfortunately I was not in the proper area for a blood bath but I did throw cups. That's irrelevant but it was fun. I also went to Motorhead in February. That was something. Not as entertaining as GWAR though obviously they rocked it. My friend and I were on the immediate outskirts of the moshpit, quite terrifying. So many sweaty, large men getting thrown on me. I'm always surprised at my strength as I body check them off of me. At one point, this dude Kyle, lifted me up in the air by my CHEST, right above him. Ya just never know...

Anyhoo, this week has been a shitter, literally. I've been sick all week. This stomach is surely not made of steel. So, Monday I got back to my apartment around 3pm and could not move. I'm all achy and feel terrible town. I uncomfortably lay there, wallowing in my thoughts, an alien growing in my stomach til around midnight. when I attempt the long overdue trip to the bathroom. Well, bad news bears, I pass out in the bathroom ha. I remember being a quarter of the way with it with one arm IN the TOILET BOWL. Thankfully, I had flushed already. I somehow managed to get out the door before I passed out again. Also, a good thing is that my roommate heard me and came to my rescue with orange juice. I was a hot mess. It took me a  good 5 minutes before I figured out if I had taken my contacts out or not (I hadn't). I didn't make it back to my bed for another hour....