Dentistry and Dating Oneself.

Well, if dating isn't the thing that's gonna kill me, passing in the halls of the junior high surely will.  True story, fourth graders are currently clocking in at my height.  I got body checked by a sixth grader today.  Don't even get me started as to what happens at the high school.  The only way to tell me apart from a student is the lovely school id that hangs around my neck.  It matches all of my outfits-the lovely maroon color (sarcasm here).  Where kids are not good for knocking me over, they are good for the ego.  A girl turned to me, practically in awe and said: "I love your dress. It's so pretty. You always look so pretty. How do you do it?" Girl, I want to put you in my pocket and carry you around with me all damn day.  That's the kind of talk I should be talking to myself, but I, like way too many of us, am way too my hard on myself.  For goodness sake, when I found out I had cavities I spent a good solid four minutes apologizing to the dentist.  I brush, I swear! Today I got those two cavities filled. Nothing like dentistry to get you questioning how you are able to breathe.  I had all this shiz in my mouth and my face had gone completely numb and I was sitting there trying to figure out how to breathe through my nose.  Forget yoga people, dentistry is the ultimate way to gain breath focus. Also, if I'm sitting there wondering how to breathe through my nose, does this therefore insinuate that I'm generally breathing through my mouth?! Certainly NOT attractive! As good ol' Mary Poppins would say. "Close your mouth, Michael. You are not a codfish."

I don't know if it is the Novocaine or what, but I am feeling much (well, slightly) better about life today.  I came to realize that the only person I should be dating right now is myself.  That sounds totally weird, but it is true.  I need to focus on being kinder to myself and re-realizing what makes me happy.  So far, I know that music makes me happy.  In my low times, I have found myself turning to the obvious choices: 80s power ballads, Sinatra, Coltrane, a little indie rock, and lots of hip hop.  People are often surprised by my KILLAH persona, but here's the thing: much of the hip hop music/culture epitomizes something that I desire to encompass; that being seriously not giving a damn.  Everyone thinks Kanye West is a total dickward, and perhaps this is true, but you know what, he does not care! He does not care! It's a beautiful thing. My brother once turned to me and said, "Do you think Jay Z cares if some b turns him down?!" Certainly not, for he is "onto the next one"! The Ying Yang Twins are also quite wise: "You fine, but I ain't gonna sweat you."  And there is of course Bone Crusher who "ain't never scared, what! East side!" as well as the ever energetic Lil Jon: "Don't start no shit, it won't be no shit." And  Lil Wayne "talks to himself because he's his own consultant." Aka trust yourself, peeps! I could go on and on...It's all really great advice. REALLY.

Besides listening to music and solo dance parties, I also really enjoy talking to random people. Lately I have been chatting up a 60 year-old man in the park, and not gonna lie, we've become sort of bffs.

When it does come to dating a real dude again however, I wonder where I will meet him.  I have observed many an attractive fella driving by in a car.  Now, I have no qualms about holla-rin' at dudes as they walk by for there is not the matter of the window blockage.  But how does one literally get a message across through a vehicle...Any thoughts on this matter?!

Additionally, I am super broke right now. Mo' money, mo' problems though, so all good, right. With that said, I don't want to spend money on cat litter, and am wondering if it is a good idea to dig up dirt from a nearby park and throw it in Cheddar's box?! Probably not???

And now, in honor of being true to oneself and going full speed ahead, here's some Kanye. Good people, before he became totally egotistic, he got his jaw wired shut and drank an Ensure for dessert.  Not only do I relate to Mr. West right now because I am coming into my own as he once did, but also because I will too be drinking an Ensure for dessert (on account of the numb face).

Be good to yourself.