Eye Exam!

I just had the best time at the eye doctors yesterday.  It was my first time at this particular joint, and the staff was quite lovely.  The girl who conducted the majority of my exam, lamented with me on the everyday day blah blah blah's of life.  I told her I would most certainly think fondly of her when I am feeling very wtf.  The optometrist himself was pretty much the shit. He told me that he could sense my energy and that he sees big things for my future.  I left the place feeling like a million bucks! Minus the fact that my eyes were totally dilated so driving and the necessary trip to the grocery store were a trip INDEED. Driving wasn't totally awful because it was more things up close that I could not see. Text messages, emails, and books could not be deciphered for over two hours post exam.  The grocery store was rough because it really was a crap shoot as to what I was buying, and I definitely failed the pin action on the debit machine swiper guy.

Anyhoo, I'm almost sad that I don't need to go back to the eye docs for another year or so.  I liked those peeps believing in my dreams while simultaneously writing me a new prescription (which has gotten worse...ya win some, ya lose some). This was pretty much the highlight of my week besides seeing "Step Up Revolution" (for the second time).  Don't judge!

Monday Reflections.

This is what's happening in my head today....

1. The ladies in Zumba are starting to learn more of the words to Usher's "Scream". They now sing along "now relax and get on your back".  Quite amusing.

2. I feel like my shimmying is not what it used to be.  The shimmy used to be my strong suit.  In fourth grade my dance teacher was stumped on what to do for the first eight in "Love Shack".  I suggested shimmying. She obliged. So much shimmying. Twenty years later, I've lost some of my shake. Putting practicing the shimmy on my to-do list.

3. The lady whose cats I watch was telling me that the woman who cleans her house has been seeing a ghost in her own house, a thirty something male wearing a denim shirt.  I wonder if this guy is single.  I have nothing against hanging out in old houses. I can get into denim.

4. I've been more Zen-like lately which sounds great, but at the same time, when you're all Zen, it can be hard to motivate because you're too busy being in the clouds feeling like it'll all just work out, it's all good, whatever. Om ba da boom!

5. I read the following inspirational blurb today (from Women's World, aah ha)  "Doors will open for you. Opportunities abound for the creative and capable-exactly the kind of person you are. Just open your eyes and your heart to possibilities, turn the knob and walk through!" My question is, where the hell is that door?! Ba da bing!

I'm looking for a job.

I'm looking for a job.  Here's what I'm good at:

1. The jumble in the paper.  I can unscramble all of the words including the riddle in one minute, seriously.  I am not sure how this would help me in the "real world" unless maybe a memo was jumbled and I could be the decipherer. Thoughts?

2. Sighting cats. I have the uncanny ability to spot cats.  Driving around, I'll be the one to say "Oh look at that cat under the truck in the driveway." No one else has any idea what I'm talking about.  Going for a walk, "Look at that brown cat sitting on the rocks!" Everyone else is squinting their eyes.

3. Playing ocean with two year-olds.  My niece will visit and I am able to entertain her for HOURS by pretending that a blue blanket is the ocean and the pillows are the hills.  The stuffed animals go swimming then retreat to the hills when they need a break.  Even the sheep is doing the doggy paddle and even the penguin can fly during our game. I have also taught her how to say doggy paddle, belly up, and backstroke.

4. Putting together the perfect lemon-water ratio for your hydrating pleasure.  I've been throwing lemon juice in water for around 20 years now and have it down to a science.

5. Showering in ten minutes. I don't miss a spot, hair washed and all, in ten minutes or less.  I guess this shows that I'm a good multi-tasker?

6. Rolling my eyes. At this point it happens so frequently that I don't even know that it's happening. This probably is not a good thing.

7. Random accents, especially when talking to myself.  It can admittedly get out of control, but I think this could come in handy for international affairs.


So yeah, if you know anyone who's hiring....

Cat Crash Diet!

So, the vet said that Rags is overweight.  He weighs 15.6 pounds and should only be 9-12. He basically needs to lose a small kitten.  My dad has cut back his food from an endless supply of dry food to one can of wet food per day. Rags is currently staring at his empty plate and I feel terrible about it.  Our vet is great.  He saved my cat Mittens' life after she came home missing half of her leg (ah, what?!), but shouldn't we be in the day and age where we respect all body types?! Even the little heftier ones?? Rags should not be punished for his full figure! I feel especially bad because I just spent the last two hours baking a homemade apple coffee cake and heating up a pizza and now will eat both in front of him. I'm also concerned because Rags has always stared at his reflection in the fire place.  I thought he was marveling at his handsomeness. But maybe he is thinking, whoa I could lose a few. Hopefully not.

Broken Egg!

A few weeks ago I was making an egg scrambler and an egg rolled off the counter and broke on the floor.  That night, I dreamed that I was hanging out with my friend and her family in a little hut and was breaking eggs. The dream then cut to me running but my running shoes were loose around the ankles.  I later looked up what this could mean and broken eggs in a dream represent being in a fragile place in one's life.  This is sort of true for I had been having one of those years. But then again, I DID literally break an egg that day AND my running shoes are REALLY loose around the ankles.  My subconscious and actual life are mirroring each other.  Tonight I felt the urge to make an apple coffee cake (no actual coffee is involved) and once again, an egg rolled off the counter and broke.  Now my dream is not only representing life on a a literal and also metaphorical level, it is also predicting kitchen accidents to come.  So much meaning! It's like how I always end up sitting backwards on the train! Life representing life! OR NOT.

Anyhoo, yeah, raging on this Friday night.  Tom Collins,baking, solo dance party. The usual.

My Life in Pictures.

Scrabble and Hip Hop.

Summer of scrabble with the moms and as we play, we jam out to the latest in poor hip hop music.  Every once in a while, my mom, the Blond Bombshell, will burst out laughing, saying that the song is even better when you start listening to the lyrics.  Example, the Gym Class Heroes' song "Ass Back Home" when the girl sweetly sings I don't know where you're going, just get your ass back home. "She just sounds so sweet singing it!" Blond Bombshell laughs.  She also is a big fan of Kanye rhyming "come and meet me in the bathroom stall" stating that the bathroom stall is the last place she would want to go for such meetings.  And most recently, she is absolutely loving the New Boyz' song "Better With the Lights Off" where the song goes Girl I hope you don't take this the wrong way but girl you look better with the lights off, better with the lights off, ooooh.... Hey, from a girl's perspective, you gotta love the forwardness in this statement.  No bullshitting from these boyzzzzzz.....