I'm looking for a job.

I'm looking for a job.  Here's what I'm good at:

1. The jumble in the paper.  I can unscramble all of the words including the riddle in one minute, seriously.  I am not sure how this would help me in the "real world" unless maybe a memo was jumbled and I could be the decipherer. Thoughts?

2. Sighting cats. I have the uncanny ability to spot cats.  Driving around, I'll be the one to say "Oh look at that cat under the truck in the driveway." No one else has any idea what I'm talking about.  Going for a walk, "Look at that brown cat sitting on the rocks!" Everyone else is squinting their eyes.

3. Playing ocean with two year-olds.  My niece will visit and I am able to entertain her for HOURS by pretending that a blue blanket is the ocean and the pillows are the hills.  The stuffed animals go swimming then retreat to the hills when they need a break.  Even the sheep is doing the doggy paddle and even the penguin can fly during our game. I have also taught her how to say doggy paddle, belly up, and backstroke.

4. Putting together the perfect lemon-water ratio for your hydrating pleasure.  I've been throwing lemon juice in water for around 20 years now and have it down to a science.

5. Showering in ten minutes. I don't miss a spot, hair washed and all, in ten minutes or less.  I guess this shows that I'm a good multi-tasker?

6. Rolling my eyes. At this point it happens so frequently that I don't even know that it's happening. This probably is not a good thing.

7. Random accents, especially when talking to myself.  It can admittedly get out of control, but I think this could come in handy for international affairs.


So yeah, if you know anyone who's hiring....