James Marsden Vision Board

A couple of weeks ago, cowflap really hit the fan with my guy "friend".  He called me lots of horrendous names and got in my face and such, definitely a no bueno.  I have since come to peace with the situation.  I am not mad at him or really mad/sad in general anymore.  What I am is empowered.  When cowflap REALLY hits the fan, it is a most excellent wake up call.  I realized that for some reason, I really do not value myself.  I have dated guy after guy who has been less than nice and gone through some SERIOUS wtf life situations in general (being threatened, accused of grand larceny, etc), and when it comes down to it, the reason any of this is happening is because I allow it to.  I see the good in everyone and want the best for everyone, which sounds lovely and wishy washy, and it would be, except that I devalue myself in the process.  I have come to realize that even if people have issues and I want to see the good in them, that does not mean that I have to help them to a point that I am hurt, or put up with certain situations, or think that I am not good enough because others put me down or whatever.  That is their issue, not mine.  So, now I am on this super awesome life kick where I truly value and take care of myself.  I feel like a million bucks! I have also made a vision board with positive quotes, the characteristics that I would like in a partner man, and life goals.  I decided that I would print out a picture of James Marsden too, because heck, if I attracted a super sweet, respectful, funny guy who resembles James Marsden, then that wouldn't be so bad.  Unfortunately, the black ink in my printer has run out, so it looks like for now, I will be attracting a white-haired ghost version of James.  Still, not bad! In other news, I have seen 3, count them THREE, attractive guys in my 'hood in the last 24 hours.  I am both shocked and pleased by this.  Yesterday I saw a guy walking in the park with two friends.  It was quite evident that he worked out, which I dig, especially because I like to take good care of myself.  Plus, he has at least two friends! My God, if he had a job too, holy cow...Today, I was looking out the window and saw an attractive guy run by so I put on my running clothes and tried to find him.  Unfortunately, I did not see him out there, but did run by another good looking dude who was also running.  This guy squinted at me.  I got a squint! Anyway, good people, take care of yourselves, let people treat you well, and go chasing after the people who seem chase worthy....well, only literal chasing,  I feel that there should not be too much chasing in the dating life.....

Broken Egg!

A few weeks ago I was making an egg scrambler and an egg rolled off the counter and broke on the floor.  That night, I dreamed that I was hanging out with my friend and her family in a little hut and was breaking eggs. The dream then cut to me running but my running shoes were loose around the ankles.  I later looked up what this could mean and broken eggs in a dream represent being in a fragile place in one's life.  This is sort of true for I had been having one of those years. But then again, I DID literally break an egg that day AND my running shoes are REALLY loose around the ankles.  My subconscious and actual life are mirroring each other.  Tonight I felt the urge to make an apple coffee cake (no actual coffee is involved) and once again, an egg rolled off the counter and broke.  Now my dream is not only representing life on a a literal and also metaphorical level, it is also predicting kitchen accidents to come.  So much meaning! It's like how I always end up sitting backwards on the train! Life representing life! OR NOT.

Anyhoo, yeah, raging on this Friday night.  Tom Collins,baking, solo dance party. The usual.