I try to find the humor in the everyday. The fact that strange things tend to happen to me doesn't hurt either. This blog covers random thoughts and personal stories- from the taxi driver who played the flute WHILE driving to sending rash text messages while mercury is in retrograde (whatever that means). Normal stuff.
Sunday, October 11, 2015
James Marsden Vision Board
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Badassery!
Hi folks!
I read this self-help (yeah, yeah) book this past week called "You are a Badass. How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life." and I gotta tell ya, it's totally working. So, either you know me, or you don't, but chances are, I come across pretty positive-proton-awesome in my writing. That's because I like to spread cheer and whatnot! The problem is, often I spread a lot of positivity onto others and then go all Negative Nancy on myself. How does this make any sense?! Well, it doesn't. And I have decided to stop, damn it! I am currently on this crazy train where I have stopped second guessing myself and have instead started to give myself some credit on how awesome I am. It is a wonderful feeling. If you are hard on yourself, I suggest you read this book, and well, just try and be kinder to yourself. You deserve it!
There is a lot of negativity in this world. It is so easy to get sucked in! Tired! Broke! Hate job! Terrible love life! The list goes on! But, there is also so much to be thankful for! Fo sheezy. I have started to watch the way I think because as the good ol' people say, your thoughts become your words which in turn, become your actions, and so on. I have always been one to give stellar advice to others, but then to question every single thing I say and do. It's preposterous! No more! Also, I am trying to steer clear of words like "I want," "I hope," and "I wish". The reason being when you "wish" for something, for example, it adds a negative connotation, like what you want is something that needs to be wished for, not something that can happen in actuality. I'm not wishing for anything anymore. I am just certain shiz is good and will continue to get better. Try it out, peeps!
As mentioned there is a lot of negativity out there and it is easy to get sucked in. Sometimes you want to talk to a sir or madame who is nonjudgmental. This is why I occasionally hit up a counselor and tell her of my life stories. Yesterday, I was babbling away about my love life, and she stopped me in the middle to tell me that she felt that she was watching a stand-up monologue. Yes, people the "love" life is one of tragedy, but in it, also comedy, because you gotta find the humor in all of the muck! So much muck you'd think I was a pig rolling around in dirt, I tell ya!
So, I decided to cancel my National Credit Report account because I am trying to pay off my credit card, and a monthly $15 fee is not helping. The lady on the phone was the best. I want to be her friend. She lives in Pittsburgh. She loves snow because there are no bugs, and ya know, I am more of a summer gal, but I had to agree with her on this one. She has a beta fish. She does not like dogs, but she likes cats, and thinks my cat sounds really cute. Her cousin lives in Massachusetts but she has never been, but she would like to visit. Unfortunately, I was so into our conversation that I naturally pressed a button accidentally and hung up on her. I did call back and connect with a Lisa. I told Lisa that I have short term memory and already forgot the name of the lovely person I was chatting with but could she please tell her I said goodbye. Oh, Lisa was very nice too. And I canceled that fee, holla! Moral of the story: talk to people! Except if they are negative. Then punch them in the throat! Jokes....
Oh, so I am working with kids who speak no English. I figured out that the key is to teach them the word "yes" because then I can say, "Do you think I am awesome?" and "Am I your favorite teacher?" and all that and they always say YES! Great feelings!
Okay, go out there and be the badasses I know you can be!!!
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Chipotle and bad things happening in 3
I'm live blogging from Chipotle. I have a burrito bowl obsession. I used to go four days a week....right after yoga. I have since weaned my way down to once every other week. Still, I'm there now. And this is why. I have been feeling very content with life lately. I've had my share of ups and downs and I have been maintaining. Just a couple of years ago I was living at home, feeling like a failure, and crying on the regs. Since then, I got my masters, have been making strides at work, started eating Chipotle, and pet my cat in my sweet apartment. I had even made a guy friend or whatever. I say or whatever because that seems more accurate of a term. I came very close to securing a dream job last week. I was getting closer with "or whatever". I was feeling pretty swell. Then poof, unraveling left and right. I decided to at least start being vocal about stuff instead of my usual people pleasing pushover self. So I am proud of this. Trying to get myself in the best possible place at work, expressing feelings to "or whatever," and making an appointment with a specialist because my Celiacs is acting a-fool. I even made an appointment with my counselor for a tune-up. During my counseling sesh, my counselor tells me that she read that all Chipotles are closing. I LOST MY SHIT. I said, "It always happens in threes! Job, guy, Chipotle. I cannot deal." I left the office and went straight to Chipotle where I proceeded to tell the worker how in counseling, I heard that all Chipotles are closing and that I cannot deal with life. The worker assured me that this was in fact a hoax. And thank god cuz I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with my life without my burrito bowls.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Priest Pants.
Well, and to be fair, I know where I was from July 8th-18th: Iceland and Paris. Bam! Yeah sure, I'll tell you all about it, though of course most likely in an out-of-sequence order and in complete ramble form. You know how I roll.
Before I get started, please take note of what I am working with computer-wise:
Friday, May 15, 2015
#587,345,234,096 of what is my life right now/ever?!
So, I had to call a cab company this morning so I could get to the train station and get up to Boston for my graduation ceremony. I called a few companies, and finally get through to a dude. I went outside to wait, the van pulls around the corner and I get in. So far, so good. Dude gets on the highway, not my first choice, but it's doable. After a few minutes, it becomes evident that we are not going to the train station. Meanwhile, both van dude's phone and my phone are blowing up all of a sudden. Evidently, a girl in the next apartment over from mine called for a car service at the exact same time that I had, and I stole her van man. What strikes me is the fact that my street is like three feet long. Seriously, what are the chances?! Anyway, my neighbor lady is freaking out and the other cab dude keeps calling and yelling at me. It's not even 6:15 am people. I finally get to the train, and some dude from match.com is sitting across from me. I get up and move. I literally cannot deal with that right now either.
Anyway. While this doesn't even come close to my strangest cab experiences (man playing a flute while driving me prob tops the list), it certainly was a great wtf to start my day.
Monday, March 23, 2015
KILLING IT.
Well, today, I had a good day, Ice Cube style.
For one, I killed it at work. I was all teaching like whoa and not sweating the small stuff.
Then, I did super adult stuff. For instance,I actually tackled my to-do list. It's been the same to-do list for the entire winter, rewritten in multiple notebooks, and consistently looming over my head. Fun stuff---figure out student loans, reschedule physical appointment, file a claim of sorts. Done. Done. Done. Granted, taxes, a whole other story... And well, by figuring out student loans, that basically means I called a bunch of peeps up and told them I had no idea what I did when I previously pulled an adult and consolidated. Still, progress.
Next up, yoga. While there seems to be a lack of hot guys lately, I am dealing by not being terrible at my practice all of a sudden. It's like bam! Wheel, got this. Camel, holla. And, Boy George, finally nailed that crow. And today, my instructor held my feet up and I did a headstand and while it kind of hurt my head and I needed assisting, what a rush, I tell ya. Good stuff.
Then, I came home, and do you know what I did? I ate adult food, like chicken and spinach, and I made a killer mixed cd for cruising to work (entitled: Get it right. Get it tight). To top it off, I made bacon so I can have a bacon and avocado something at some point tomorrow.
Part of the reason that I am (hopefully) emerging from the winter funk for the rest of the year, is that not only do I have good peeps in my corner, but I'm cheerleading myself like a crazy. There has been a definite increase in singing aloud in public assuring myself that it's just life, no biggie smalls. It's working people. So, even if you look a little nutter butters because you're singing "you got this. what what what" in public, I totally recommend it and assure you that it is worth the what-are-you-on-right-now looks.
Plus, it's almost summer and it will be a breezy 80 degrees and life will be so splendid.
As usual, this was pretty pointless.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Belated Condolence Cards?
Gangsta's Paradise
Speaking of hip hop music, I keep wondering about a line in Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise". Fun Fact: I did a jazz routine this song when I was 9ish. Anyway. In the song, he goes, "I'm 23 now, but will I live to see 24. The way things are going I don't know." I always wonder: was he really 23 when he wrote this song? I tried doing math today and I think he would have been more like 30 something, but maybe he was talking about when he actually wrote the song? Or maybe he is just being all metaphorical? Is it weird that this is what is going on in my head? Kind of a lot too? Like I've thought about this numerous times in my life.
I had one other thought today (slow thought day). I was walking down the street and was wondering if I was moving my arms enough. I think they move at a normal pace generally, but with winter and sleeping bag coats, I feel like stiffness or something creeps in, and then I am reminded of the Summer of George Seinfeld episode where Elaine's co-worker (Molly Shannon) doesn't move her arms enough.
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Yoga/Valentine's Day/Role Models.
Though, single dudes: what are you thinking?! Yoga is the perfect place to go to meet ladies. They are all wearing tight pants. I don't get it.
Speaking of singledom, I am actually totally fine with being single on Valentine's Day. I think I'd rather have a boyfriend during the 4th of July anyways. Though, today I did buy a nice greeting card I would like to send someone some day.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Overheard/Groundhog's Day/Patriots/Winter
1. Can I ask you something serious though? Do you believe in the legend of Hercules?
2. You definitely don't want to eat a blow-up fish.
Groundhog's Day
A national treasure. Prior to when the big day hit, I was discussing it with one of my students. I asked him if he knew what a groundhog looked like, which led to the discussion of what the difference was between groundhogs, beavers, and woodchucks. Is there a difference? Are they all the same? And then I felt bad because it is sort of a racist thing to say. Obviously not all large rodents look the same.
I had a snow day on actual Groundhog's Day and spent it watching Groundhog's Day, naturally. That movie is spectacular, but also feels pretty real life these days. For instance, I literally have had no idea what day it is at all for the last two weeks. Well, I guess that is kind of the opposite of Groundhog's Day though, considering that Mr. Bill Murray is very aware of what the date is.
Anyway, this happened on Groundhog's Day, real life: Groundhog bites mayor. I can't say I blame the little fellow. Being rudely awoken at an ungodly hour is pretty not cool.
Dates
I was talking to my high school student today about dates, as in numerical today is blah blah blah kind of dates and somehow the following came from my mouth: "There are three kinds of dates. Dates, food, dates, like today is, and dates as in let's go to the movies. Which date do you like the most? I like dates, the food the best."
She told me that that was a really weird thing to say.
The Patriots
Okay, not going to lie, I am one of those New England Patriots fans, sue me. The Super Bowl basically gave me a full-on anxiety attack. It was when I decided to do sprints from the living room down the hall and back that they started to improve so I then found myself sprinting between plays for the majority of the second half. I get annoyed when people hate on the Patriots, but have learned to take it in stride. This is not about being a fan or not, but really about the deeper issues of a.) haters gonna hate b.) jealousy is a mean ol' mofo and c.) sometimes it is best to keep the talk to the minimum. I am just going to lightly touch upon a. and b. Okay, there are a lot of peeps who may seem like they have it all and you may want to find fault with them, but maybe they actually worked hard for it ? Maybe because they worked hard it doesn't mean they are actually bad people? It doesn't actually mean they are good people either. It just doesn't mean peeps gotta act a fool as a result. C. is my favorite though. Bill Belichick is often regarded as totes the worst for his one line answers, but honestly, one liners are something that I would like to get more into. Well, one liners I have, but then they are usually followed by 5 paragraphs of nonsense. Sometimes, the less said, the better (as I continue to write more about nothing...see!).
Winter
I don't understand what is happening outside. Sure, I grew up in New England and all that jazz, but I still don't get it. I see people running outside. I ran outside on New Years Eve and nearly froze my jiblets off. Mid-run, I wondered to myself, why am I running outside when it is literally freezing and going to hot yoga in the summer? Something is very wrong here. So, I wised up and have been hot yoga-ing like a mofo and steering clear of outside jogs. Until yesterday, aka super cold day, where I decided a run needed to happen. So, I got all layered up. My winter running attire is atrocious. I basically look crazy, but it is dark out and no one can see me anyways so who cares. So, I'm outside, and immediately my Raynaud's start acting up. For those of you who don't know, Raynaud's is a lovely ditty where one's hands and feet start turning really strange colors and get all prickly in the cold. That's happening but I am determined. I am holding onto the sides of houses to prevent myself from falling. I can hardly not fall when there is no ice, with ice, it is really not pretty. I finally get to the park. Duh. It's not cleared at all. It is sheets of ice and snow. All in all, I walked like .7 miles in 20 minutes because inching along is basically all I could handle. I tried walking today, and once again, nearly froze and slipped to my death en route. I have seen people running though! I have seen them! I drive by them. How do they do it?! I do not understand! Speaking of driving, dude, if I can barely handle driving in perfect weather, driving on sheets of ice in snow is basically complete terrible town. Though, every time I drive and not get into an accident, and walk and not fall down, I get really proud of myself. So, I guess really, winter is building my self-esteem or something.
The end?
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
This is literally about nothing.
Me: I hate snow, man. Man...and men. Snowmen I am okay with. That's weird.
And no, I don't actually hate men. They're great! To be all metaphorical and shiz, however, if men were snow, I am consistently finding the kind my neighbor's dog has already peed on.
Conversation was followed by this:
That moment when you dump an entire container of rosemary onto your chicken.
The moment when you microwave your lunch in plastic. The toxins really added a bit of punch to the flavor. True story.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Married Cousins.
The other day one of my students was talking about her parents. I asked her how they met. She casually said, "they were cousins." Then her face changed as reality sunk in. "THEY WERE COUSINS? COUSINS? IS THAT OKAY?!" she repeated for literally three minutes. I responded with, "Yeah, totally fine. I mean, not having cousins makes dating really hard these days."
True story.
She went on. "There's so much crying?"
Me: "Crying? Who's crying?"
Student: "I don't know. Everyone is crying. They can't find anyone to date and they cry. It's like, you've got ten years, then you can start worrying." You know, until you're like 21, she is basically saying.
I found this all to be quite funny.
Anyway. I'm completely over winter/boys/ACCESS test (standard mandatory blahs that I have to administer).
This one dude I saw on Tinder totally used the pics of a famous Polish actor and claimed to be him. Took me like a day to figure it out. Should have taken me no time because there are literally no guys that attractive in the New England region. Shocking though, hot Polish guys?! I lived in a very Polish neighborhood and there were no hot guys there.
Winter is the worst. It takes me ten minutes to walk one feet.
People are the second worst.
Testing is lame.
I am going to go shop for a palm tree now.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Fender Bender Nixon.
And that is all, Time to eat.
Post food revelation: I don't think I actually care about this fender loss/having to spend money on a new fender because I think I have officially given my last shiiiiiiiiiitz in general on stuff. It's a pretty wonderful feeling. And now that I ate a burrito bowl and some brownies, I am going to make the worst decision of the day: yoga attempt #2. I really don't think one should go immediately after such meals....But as aforementioned, I could really care less!!!
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Random in Review.
5. Cute guys in yoga---mixed bag. Initially, I was pretty stoked to see an attractive, non-married, heterosexual dude partaking in limbering activities. But in all honesty, his attractiveness made it harder for me to breathe properly and I fell down multiple times as a result.