Lunch with Hilda.

Monday afternoon found me at my Gma's assisted living room having lunch with her and her people. She told me to show up at her place at 11:30 am. Lunch would start at 12 noon, but we would need to head down by ten of because of the fact that we would be walking at the pace of one mile an hour. Gma warned me that we would be sitting with a woman named Hilda, who is a bit off her rocker, and another lady (who is sweet but her name escapes me), who is completely deaf. My Gma thinks that seeing someone with a tattoo is wild, so I didn't put much stock in what she said about Hilda. That is, until I met Hilda. Lady is off her rocker, but I found her to be amazingly entertaining with a great spirit!

Hilda is this cute little lady with eyes that twinkle with life, as well as with a bit of something-is-missing-here. She was so accommodating and friendly with me. As soon as I sat down, she started off about how she loves men and is getting married in June, right here at the assisted living home. Would I want to be her maid of honor? The man she is marrying lives at another residential home, they love to dance together, and he is an excellent guitar player. "He's in a band! Do you have a boyfriend? There are other guys in the band. I bet they would marry you!" Hilda, oh Hilda, how did you know that I have a weakness for musicians?! Granted, I generally try to go a wee bit (see: a lot bit) lower than age 80. Hilda became obsessed with finding me a boyfriend. She literally asked EVERY SINGLE RESIDENT LIVING THERE for me. To the fellas, she would yell across the room, YELL!!!!, "Hey! She needs a boyfriend! Will you date her? Do you know anyone?" And she asked all of the women if they had any boys they could share. One resident said that he may be too old for me, but that he can set me up with guys ages 4-18. I informed him that that is definitely too young and then he broke into song. He was great. He's going back to Europe this summer where, where, as he informed me, it is very difficult not to stare at all of the beautiful women's legs. When it appeared that none of the residents could help me find love, Hilda then asked all of the workers, many of who were like teenagers. 

 Hilda also kept yelling across the room telling different guys how she can't wait to dance with them again. "I'm a huge flirt. I love to shake it." Hilda told me that she lost both her husband and son and then decided to just have fun and be happy, that nothing else matters. So now,she dances with everyone and flirts like mad. Though, she is quite the flirt herself, she did admit to me that she had to press her emergency button when she caught one male resident sneaking into the bedroom of the lady who lives next door to her. Hilda said that she asked him what he was doing and he answered that he wanted to sleep next to his girlfriend. Hilda had to press her emergency button because it was simply against the rules. The man she was referring to had three workers helping him into his seat, as he could barely walk by himself. It probably took the poor chap a good hour to get to his girlfriend's room.

Naturally, after such an exciting lunch, it made sense that my Gma and I would cap it off at one of her favorite places, CVS. She has so many coupons she was very excited to use! On the way out, Hilda saw me and stood up and danced with me a little, exclaiming again, just how much she loves to shake it, shake it!