Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!

Merry What What Folks!

Favorite time of the year! I have this friend named Bird. My brother nicknamed her Bird because of the knock-knees and curly mop on her head. Anyhoo, Bird and I used to live together at "The Palace" in college. One day, back when we lived together, I was going about my day around the apartment, washing dishes, gettin' down, when Bird suddenly emerged from her room. I had no idea she was home. She looked at me and said something along the lines of: "You realize you just talked to yourself for over an hour. And that you said 'I love Christmas' at least three times." It was June. It's true, I really do love Christmas.

Bird live in Menace Beach now but she's back on the best coast for the holla-days. We always exchange gifts. This year, I got her a balloon hat and pump kit, 'cause ya know, so practical.

The gift she got me IS practical but ummm...I do get cold easily and I do love penguins....FYI: I am INSIDE that penguin! And can I say, it's an identity fuck! You wouldn't think that putting a giant black and white cloak over one's head with mess with the psyche but indeed it does! I don't recognize myself at all!

I am pretty stoked about giving out a couple of gifts in particular. My two favorite gifts I have purchased are for my Dad and niece. A few years ago, I bought my Dad a yodeling pickle. That went over way better than I could have possible imagined. My Dad brings the yodeling pickle with him to meetings, hides it in his briefcase, then presses the magic button when the big chief walks in. The sweet sound of the Swiss Alps fills the air, no lie! So....every time it comes to gift giving season, I always wonder, what can I get my Dad that will top the pickle?! And then I found it! Remote controlled yodeling lederhosen!! REMOTE CONTROLLED! YESSS!!!

I naturally want my niece to grow up to be an ablazing badass much like myself so I bought her gifts with this in mind. A boy once compared me to a delicate flower and I told him point blank that I'm not a flower, I'm a cactus. I want my niece to embody the cactus. So, to keep her warm while also throwing out "don't mess! you better recognize vibes", I have taken the liberty to hook her up with the shark mitten.

And yes, shark mitten photo shoot took place on my stove.

And of course, it is never to soon to introduce the little ones to good music, so I'm hooking the l'il lady up with the ROCKABYE BABY! renditions of Black Sabbath...HOLLA! http://www.rockabyebabymusic.com/?nav2=false Nothing really says relaxing like "Iron Man"! Now, my brother and his wifey won't have to worry about just playing the Metallica lullabies I had previously gotten their little gem.