1. Stop being a degenerate!
2. Fuck the frail shit!
3. Stick it to the man!
4. Bang! Bang!
5. Rock climb!
6. Fuck bitches, make $$!!
7. Eat more meat!
8. Train for American Ninja Warrior!
9. Go to gun/golf place in Westchester!
10. Run the shit!
11. Regulate!
12. Be the leading lady of my life!
13. Not allow people to speak to me unless I have first summoned them.
14. No dickin' around!
I composed this life list while working the Tuesday after Christmas/Tuesday after the blizzard shift at Mercury. AKA no one was there. The night was quite entertaining nonetheless. The first girl was a solo act with soulful voice. She ended on a bang-covering Khia (who?! exactly!)'s song "My Neck, My Back" with HER MOTHER IN THE AUDIENCE!
The second band was a legit shit show. Literally FIVE people were playing kazoos at once. KAZOOS?! SERIOUSLY???!! Then came another solo act. This time a boy who defnitely needed a hug. His mom was also in the audience, as well as his "manager" aka the only person who stood during his set and who creepily taped the whole thing. The boy that needs a hug kept doing covers because he didn't have enough of his own material but then he'd preface each cover with a statement about how he knows he should not be covering this song...and then he would break into the Beach Boys. He really got me when he all of a sudden whipped out a kazoo as well. ARE YOU DEAD SERIOUS?! The last band I completely tuned out except for the fact that one of the dudes in the band tried to talk to me and I wasn't in the mood so I just pointed for him to go away which is where I came up with Number 13 on my Life List: Don't talk to me unless summoned.
In its raw form, the list:
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