So, I've been pretty much non killing it for the last three months to five years. Here's the reasoning: I mean, life. Dude, it's exhausting being alive. One has got to work and go to school and talk to people. How does one maintain??
Well, today, I had a good day, Ice Cube style.
For one, I killed it at work. I was all teaching like whoa and not sweating the small stuff.
Then, I did super adult stuff. For instance,I actually tackled my to-do list. It's been the same to-do list for the entire winter, rewritten in multiple notebooks, and consistently looming over my head. Fun stuff---figure out student loans, reschedule physical appointment, file a claim of sorts. Done. Done. Done. Granted, taxes, a whole other story... And well, by figuring out student loans, that basically means I called a bunch of peeps up and told them I had no idea what I did when I previously pulled an adult and consolidated. Still, progress.
Next up, yoga. While there seems to be a lack of hot guys lately, I am dealing by not being terrible at my practice all of a sudden. It's like bam! Wheel, got this. Camel, holla. And, Boy George, finally nailed that crow. And today, my instructor held my feet up and I did a headstand and while it kind of hurt my head and I needed assisting, what a rush, I tell ya. Good stuff.
Then, I came home, and do you know what I did? I ate adult food, like chicken and spinach, and I made a killer mixed cd for cruising to work (entitled: Get it right. Get it tight). To top it off, I made bacon so I can have a bacon and avocado something at some point tomorrow.
Part of the reason that I am (hopefully) emerging from the winter funk for the rest of the year, is that not only do I have good peeps in my corner, but I'm cheerleading myself like a crazy. There has been a definite increase in singing aloud in public assuring myself that it's just life, no biggie smalls. It's working people. So, even if you look a little nutter butters because you're singing "you got this. what what what" in public, I totally recommend it and assure you that it is worth the what-are-you-on-right-now looks.
Plus, it's almost summer and it will be a breezy 80 degrees and life will be so splendid.
As usual, this was pretty pointless.
Monday, March 23, 2015
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Belated Condolence Cards?
Earlier I wrote a post about my two wonderings of the day: 1. a question regarding a Coolio lyric and 2. am I moving my arms enough while walking?
A third thought has now entered my mind:
3. So, I'm into greeting cards. They are a dying form of communication. I often buy them, but the reality of me actually sending them is another matter. A couple of posts ago I wrote about a shark valentine. I cannot send it currently because I don't have a boyfriend and randomly sending it to anyone else would be pretty creepy. I have a few more random and equally awesome cards stored away, waiting for the right moment. Now, here's the thing. When sending a card, you need a. a recipient b. a stamp and c. to mail it. I often have a combo of the two but generally not at the same time. Sometimes I get to the c. (mailing it) part and nothing happens. I just can't make it to c. The problem with this is, so yeah, a belated birthday card---acceptable, within reason. I'm usually out of reason in that I send the card that I bought before your birthday around 5 months after your birthday, but still, it's sort of acceptable. Right now, I have some hey you're having a baby, thinking of you, and condolence cards to mail out, all of which should have been mailed out 1-2 weeks ago. Okay, so hey you're having a baby I can probably get away with not sending for a couple of more months, ya know, until the baby actually happens. But condolence cards? How can you send a belated condolence card? It's like sorry your boyfriend broke up with you 3 months ago. Sorry your pet died 8 months ago. I really need to buy stamps tomorrow or else I'm essentially going to be mailing dear friends a lot of miserable memories. Ah!
And that was my third thought of the day. Back to practicing the worm. I think I am actually getting it!
Gangsta's Paradise
The snow is making me legit stir crazy. I need to run 10 miles outside immediately or I'm going to lose it. Since that is not actually a possibility right now, I am settling by practicing the worm, with the strobe light disco ball on, and blasting hip hop music. This post right here, it is literally just a commercial break from the worm.
Speaking of hip hop music, I keep wondering about a line in Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise". Fun Fact: I did a jazz routine this song when I was 9ish. Anyway. In the song, he goes, "I'm 23 now, but will I live to see 24. The way things are going I don't know." I always wonder: was he really 23 when he wrote this song? I tried doing math today and I think he would have been more like 30 something, but maybe he was talking about when he actually wrote the song? Or maybe he is just being all metaphorical? Is it weird that this is what is going on in my head? Kind of a lot too? Like I've thought about this numerous times in my life.
I had one other thought today (slow thought day). I was walking down the street and was wondering if I was moving my arms enough. I think they move at a normal pace generally, but with winter and sleeping bag coats, I feel like stiffness or something creeps in, and then I am reminded of the Summer of George Seinfeld episode where Elaine's co-worker (Molly Shannon) doesn't move her arms enough.
Speaking of hip hop music, I keep wondering about a line in Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise". Fun Fact: I did a jazz routine this song when I was 9ish. Anyway. In the song, he goes, "I'm 23 now, but will I live to see 24. The way things are going I don't know." I always wonder: was he really 23 when he wrote this song? I tried doing math today and I think he would have been more like 30 something, but maybe he was talking about when he actually wrote the song? Or maybe he is just being all metaphorical? Is it weird that this is what is going on in my head? Kind of a lot too? Like I've thought about this numerous times in my life.
I had one other thought today (slow thought day). I was walking down the street and was wondering if I was moving my arms enough. I think they move at a normal pace generally, but with winter and sleeping bag coats, I feel like stiffness or something creeps in, and then I am reminded of the Summer of George Seinfeld episode where Elaine's co-worker (Molly Shannon) doesn't move her arms enough.
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Yoga/Valentine's Day/Role Models.
Yoga class update: original good looking fella has a girlfriend. No, I am not above straight up asking the yoga teacher the status of dudes in class. There is a another gent in class who has a nice face. I am not getting my hopes up though. It seems that straight + single are hard to find in the middle of an up-dog so I'm not wasting my time.
Though, single dudes: what are you thinking?! Yoga is the perfect place to go to meet ladies. They are all wearing tight pants. I don't get it.
Speaking of singledom, I am actually totally fine with being single on Valentine's Day. I think I'd rather have a boyfriend during the 4th of July anyways. Though, today I did buy a nice greeting card I would like to send someone some day.
Though, single dudes: what are you thinking?! Yoga is the perfect place to go to meet ladies. They are all wearing tight pants. I don't get it.
Speaking of singledom, I am actually totally fine with being single on Valentine's Day. I think I'd rather have a boyfriend during the 4th of July anyways. Though, today I did buy a nice greeting card I would like to send someone some day.
Who wouldn't love to receive this gem in the mail?! So, yes, that is the reason I think a boyfriend on Valentine's Day would be nice: shark cards.
And here is why being a teacher is nice:
Q: Who is your role model?
A: Miss. F. because she is great at everything.
You hear that? Miss F. aka Killah K is GREAT AT EVERYTHING.
And you know, kids only tell the truth so....
In other news, I passed a cemetery the other day and swear a large tombstone read FATSY on it. My friend suggested that maybe it actually read PATSY??
And in weather news, I'm really hoping that March goes straight-up into lamb. None of that lion business.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Overheard/Groundhog's Day/Patriots/Winter
Recently Overheard, Children to Adults:
1. Can I ask you something serious though? Do you believe in the legend of Hercules?
2. You definitely don't want to eat a blow-up fish.
Groundhog's Day
A national treasure. Prior to when the big day hit, I was discussing it with one of my students. I asked him if he knew what a groundhog looked like, which led to the discussion of what the difference was between groundhogs, beavers, and woodchucks. Is there a difference? Are they all the same? And then I felt bad because it is sort of a racist thing to say. Obviously not all large rodents look the same.
I had a snow day on actual Groundhog's Day and spent it watching Groundhog's Day, naturally. That movie is spectacular, but also feels pretty real life these days. For instance, I literally have had no idea what day it is at all for the last two weeks. Well, I guess that is kind of the opposite of Groundhog's Day though, considering that Mr. Bill Murray is very aware of what the date is.
Anyway, this happened on Groundhog's Day, real life: Groundhog bites mayor. I can't say I blame the little fellow. Being rudely awoken at an ungodly hour is pretty not cool.
Dates
I was talking to my high school student today about dates, as in numerical today is blah blah blah kind of dates and somehow the following came from my mouth: "There are three kinds of dates. Dates, food, dates, like today is, and dates as in let's go to the movies. Which date do you like the most? I like dates, the food the best."
She told me that that was a really weird thing to say.
The Patriots
Okay, not going to lie, I am one of those New England Patriots fans, sue me. The Super Bowl basically gave me a full-on anxiety attack. It was when I decided to do sprints from the living room down the hall and back that they started to improve so I then found myself sprinting between plays for the majority of the second half. I get annoyed when people hate on the Patriots, but have learned to take it in stride. This is not about being a fan or not, but really about the deeper issues of a.) haters gonna hate b.) jealousy is a mean ol' mofo and c.) sometimes it is best to keep the talk to the minimum. I am just going to lightly touch upon a. and b. Okay, there are a lot of peeps who may seem like they have it all and you may want to find fault with them, but maybe they actually worked hard for it ? Maybe because they worked hard it doesn't mean they are actually bad people? It doesn't actually mean they are good people either. It just doesn't mean peeps gotta act a fool as a result. C. is my favorite though. Bill Belichick is often regarded as totes the worst for his one line answers, but honestly, one liners are something that I would like to get more into. Well, one liners I have, but then they are usually followed by 5 paragraphs of nonsense. Sometimes, the less said, the better (as I continue to write more about nothing...see!).
Winter
I don't understand what is happening outside. Sure, I grew up in New England and all that jazz, but I still don't get it. I see people running outside. I ran outside on New Years Eve and nearly froze my jiblets off. Mid-run, I wondered to myself, why am I running outside when it is literally freezing and going to hot yoga in the summer? Something is very wrong here. So, I wised up and have been hot yoga-ing like a mofo and steering clear of outside jogs. Until yesterday, aka super cold day, where I decided a run needed to happen. So, I got all layered up. My winter running attire is atrocious. I basically look crazy, but it is dark out and no one can see me anyways so who cares. So, I'm outside, and immediately my Raynaud's start acting up. For those of you who don't know, Raynaud's is a lovely ditty where one's hands and feet start turning really strange colors and get all prickly in the cold. That's happening but I am determined. I am holding onto the sides of houses to prevent myself from falling. I can hardly not fall when there is no ice, with ice, it is really not pretty. I finally get to the park. Duh. It's not cleared at all. It is sheets of ice and snow. All in all, I walked like .7 miles in 20 minutes because inching along is basically all I could handle. I tried walking today, and once again, nearly froze and slipped to my death en route. I have seen people running though! I have seen them! I drive by them. How do they do it?! I do not understand! Speaking of driving, dude, if I can barely handle driving in perfect weather, driving on sheets of ice in snow is basically complete terrible town. Though, every time I drive and not get into an accident, and walk and not fall down, I get really proud of myself. So, I guess really, winter is building my self-esteem or something.
The end?
1. Can I ask you something serious though? Do you believe in the legend of Hercules?
2. You definitely don't want to eat a blow-up fish.
Groundhog's Day
A national treasure. Prior to when the big day hit, I was discussing it with one of my students. I asked him if he knew what a groundhog looked like, which led to the discussion of what the difference was between groundhogs, beavers, and woodchucks. Is there a difference? Are they all the same? And then I felt bad because it is sort of a racist thing to say. Obviously not all large rodents look the same.
I had a snow day on actual Groundhog's Day and spent it watching Groundhog's Day, naturally. That movie is spectacular, but also feels pretty real life these days. For instance, I literally have had no idea what day it is at all for the last two weeks. Well, I guess that is kind of the opposite of Groundhog's Day though, considering that Mr. Bill Murray is very aware of what the date is.
Anyway, this happened on Groundhog's Day, real life: Groundhog bites mayor. I can't say I blame the little fellow. Being rudely awoken at an ungodly hour is pretty not cool.
Dates
I was talking to my high school student today about dates, as in numerical today is blah blah blah kind of dates and somehow the following came from my mouth: "There are three kinds of dates. Dates, food, dates, like today is, and dates as in let's go to the movies. Which date do you like the most? I like dates, the food the best."
She told me that that was a really weird thing to say.
The Patriots
Okay, not going to lie, I am one of those New England Patriots fans, sue me. The Super Bowl basically gave me a full-on anxiety attack. It was when I decided to do sprints from the living room down the hall and back that they started to improve so I then found myself sprinting between plays for the majority of the second half. I get annoyed when people hate on the Patriots, but have learned to take it in stride. This is not about being a fan or not, but really about the deeper issues of a.) haters gonna hate b.) jealousy is a mean ol' mofo and c.) sometimes it is best to keep the talk to the minimum. I am just going to lightly touch upon a. and b. Okay, there are a lot of peeps who may seem like they have it all and you may want to find fault with them, but maybe they actually worked hard for it ? Maybe because they worked hard it doesn't mean they are actually bad people? It doesn't actually mean they are good people either. It just doesn't mean peeps gotta act a fool as a result. C. is my favorite though. Bill Belichick is often regarded as totes the worst for his one line answers, but honestly, one liners are something that I would like to get more into. Well, one liners I have, but then they are usually followed by 5 paragraphs of nonsense. Sometimes, the less said, the better (as I continue to write more about nothing...see!).
Winter
I don't understand what is happening outside. Sure, I grew up in New England and all that jazz, but I still don't get it. I see people running outside. I ran outside on New Years Eve and nearly froze my jiblets off. Mid-run, I wondered to myself, why am I running outside when it is literally freezing and going to hot yoga in the summer? Something is very wrong here. So, I wised up and have been hot yoga-ing like a mofo and steering clear of outside jogs. Until yesterday, aka super cold day, where I decided a run needed to happen. So, I got all layered up. My winter running attire is atrocious. I basically look crazy, but it is dark out and no one can see me anyways so who cares. So, I'm outside, and immediately my Raynaud's start acting up. For those of you who don't know, Raynaud's is a lovely ditty where one's hands and feet start turning really strange colors and get all prickly in the cold. That's happening but I am determined. I am holding onto the sides of houses to prevent myself from falling. I can hardly not fall when there is no ice, with ice, it is really not pretty. I finally get to the park. Duh. It's not cleared at all. It is sheets of ice and snow. All in all, I walked like .7 miles in 20 minutes because inching along is basically all I could handle. I tried walking today, and once again, nearly froze and slipped to my death en route. I have seen people running though! I have seen them! I drive by them. How do they do it?! I do not understand! Speaking of driving, dude, if I can barely handle driving in perfect weather, driving on sheets of ice in snow is basically complete terrible town. Though, every time I drive and not get into an accident, and walk and not fall down, I get really proud of myself. So, I guess really, winter is building my self-esteem or something.
The end?
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
This is literally about nothing.
Conversation that happened ten minutes ago:
Me: I hate snow, man. Man...and men. Snowmen I am okay with. That's weird.
And no, I don't actually hate men. They're great! To be all metaphorical and shiz, however, if men were snow, I am consistently finding the kind my neighbor's dog has already peed on.
Conversation was followed by this:
That moment when you dump an entire container of rosemary onto your chicken.
The moment when you microwave your lunch in plastic. The toxins really added a bit of punch to the flavor. True story.
And here, for your viewing pleasure, cat in a box:
Me: I hate snow, man. Man...and men. Snowmen I am okay with. That's weird.
And no, I don't actually hate men. They're great! To be all metaphorical and shiz, however, if men were snow, I am consistently finding the kind my neighbor's dog has already peed on.
Conversation was followed by this:
This moment just comes days after this:
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Married Cousins.
The other day one of my students was talking about her parents. I asked her how they met. She casually said, "they were cousins." Then her face changed as reality sunk in. "THEY WERE COUSINS? COUSINS? IS THAT OKAY?!" she repeated for literally three minutes. I responded with, "Yeah, totally fine. I mean, not having cousins makes dating really hard these days."
True story.
She went on. "There's so much crying?"
Me: "Crying? Who's crying?"
Student: "I don't know. Everyone is crying. They can't find anyone to date and they cry. It's like, you've got ten years, then you can start worrying." You know, until you're like 21, she is basically saying.
I found this all to be quite funny.
Anyway. I'm completely over winter/boys/ACCESS test (standard mandatory blahs that I have to administer).
This one dude I saw on Tinder totally used the pics of a famous Polish actor and claimed to be him. Took me like a day to figure it out. Should have taken me no time because there are literally no guys that attractive in the New England region. Shocking though, hot Polish guys?! I lived in a very Polish neighborhood and there were no hot guys there.
Winter is the worst. It takes me ten minutes to walk one feet.
People are the second worst.
Testing is lame.
I am going to go shop for a palm tree now.
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