After storm.

This Irene lady was rather dull for me. Nothing like the exciting Hurricane Bob back in '91, now that was a good time! If anything, Irene made me gain some weight. All good. Definitely made chocolate walnut cookies (though they're closer to dough honestly) and ate lots of pizza and crackers. Jonesin' for some fresh air, I walked around a lot today. So many people close to my age were out yet the only person to speak to me was a French guy in his seventies. And he chose to speak to me in French. Of course he did. I somehow spoke back in broken French. I had to say "je ne sais pas!" (I don't know)  and "je suis desole mais j'oblies les langues" (I'm sorry but I forgot the language...or something?) a lot. I did get that he has been in the States for 5 months and is a professor of art. He has exhibits coming up and made me take down his email address but I don't really think I took it down properly because really I had no idea what he was saying. I also have no idea why he chose to talk to me. After our semi-long conversation where neither of us knew what the other was saying, I continued on my aimless wander. I heard an "excuse me". I turned around. A middle aged woman is now trying to get my attention but after one look at my face she changes her mind. "I'm fine, never mind!" Or brother. I wondered if I had something weird going on with my face or if the wind blown hair look frightened her. I continued on.


I got antsy being in my apartment again so decided to head out for another rendezvous. This time a shriveling elderly woman approaches me on the street. She points to a bench nearby with homeless people sitting on it. Or not, maybe they weren't homeless. I don't know.
Elderly lady: "Do you see those girls?" 
Me: "Yes." There are two girls hanging with some dudes. 
E.L. "What are they doing?"
Me: "I don't know."
EL: "Well, do you know them?"
Me: "No."
EL: "Do you think they should be doing that?" 
Me: "What are they doing? I don't know? I don't know them."
She looked at me, totally disgusted, and walked off.


The other day in a park some guy talked to me FOREVER about how things were different when he moved here in 1984. Then asked me if I would be his dinner partner. Dude, I was BORN in 1984. No thanks. 


Who are these people? Why are they talking to me?

Deerhunter!

I reviewed Deerhunter at Webster Hall on August 22nd. I think I may love them. For the few hours I was there, I was too busy being dazed to remember how over August I am. It's easy to do a write-up of something you LIKE too. The words just flowed right outta me. Hey!


SHAZAM! http://houselist.bowerypresents.com/2011/08/23/deerhunter-dazes-webster-hall/

My Lovely Parents Paid Me A Lovely Visit!

My parents visited the other week. I really like them...and I don't like everyone...seriously. They arrived on Monday with a big box. Inside the box: a sweater I bought in Canada years ago consisting of tons of tiny Christmas trees and two penguins holding flippers, a Snoopy kite I bought in high school and have never used, pajamas with holiday cats on them, another set of pajamas (color aqua), board games and lots of beautiful jewelry that my mom had made. They arrived mid-day. One of my mom's favorite things is to clean out closets and organize so she helped me form bags of clothes to donate. My dad took a nap. Being crafty, my mom also fixed some of my dresses which have either stretched out or don't fit me because I have gotten shorter. We trekked to Salvation Army but it had JUST closed so we gave my three bags of unwanted goods to a guy on a street who "works at a shelter". Eh, someone will use them. We then ate dinner. 


Tuesday. Tuesday began with breakfast as every day should. We hit up Jimmy's Diner in Williamsburg. I remembered why I don't go there often. The atmosphere's kitschy but cute  and they play oldies. This I like. Mini donuts=amazing. I also dig the funky food pairings. My mom and I opted for the tater tot bowl. My dad went for a hash thing. The problem is after a few bites, the stomach does not feel spectacular and you start to wonder if you really like tater tots. Still, I'll probably go back. After breakfast, we checked on the cat I was watching (me, watching a cat? shocker...) then hit up the East River Ferry. The parents and I walked around DUMBO for a bit and then boated back to the Burg for some good ol' Meatball Shop. Gotta say, the Meatball Shop in Williamsburg is more spacious and less noisy than the one in LES.  Much like my parents, I am more of a hamburger fan but everyone's gotta try these balls. Not too shabby. The drink of the day was gin and soda with crushed strawberries and mint leaves. Simply divine. I have since tried to recreate. Post-eats, we hit up the new Nitehawk theater. Very enjoyable. The theater is quite intimate with only around 30 seats per theater and was perfect for our viewing of "Midnight In Paris". This was my second time seeing this movie and I'm not super impressed by many films (or much of anything really) but I LOVE this movie. LOVE. 


Wednesday. Breakfast of course, this time at Ella on Bedford Avenue. Had a bacon scramble. It was quite delish. Good meal to prepare us for CONEY ISLAND!!! Only the best place EVER. Of course the train ride there proved to be quite ridiculous.

Captain Spaulding?

This guy starts talking to my dad. I guess it's good my parents were in town so the crazies can speak to them and leave me alone for once? Anyhoo, the guy works in the voice over biz and specializes in horror movies. For the entire ride he talked about the weirdest stuff ever. I wish I had a tape recorder. Ah. So he played a ghoul in one of the "Saw" movies and is really tight with some dude he kept referring to as Captain Spaulding. The guy told us that when his mom passed there was a huge framed photo of Captain Spaulding on her coffin along with tons of black roses. Captain Spaulding is such a dear and he helped to pay for the funeral! Going out to dinner with Captain Spaulding is always a treat. He always throws fake worms or blood in the food to freak people out. He's nuts! Out of his mind! Captain Spaulding always  uses HIS OWN BLOOD in horror movies. None of that fake blood stuff! Not for the captain! One time I had to bleed in a movie and they sliced part of my head open. It really hurt but that's what the captain wanted!!! SO MUCH STRANGE TALK. When he exhausted Captain Spaulding, dude discussed boxing and wrestling with my dad. My dad loved it. My mom referred to the train as the "first amusement ride of the day". 


Coney...Well it WAS fun but it WAS hot. We had to keep ducking in the shade to remain cool. Feeling thirsty, we stopped for a drink along the boardwalk. My mom opted for an icy, I went for the classic h20 and my dad got a Heineken. We sat and savored. Then I threw them on the Thunder Bolt. Spins round and round. My mom enjoyed the music as did I. My dad turned a pale color. A little Wonder Wheel will fix him. Um, no. Just as the car began to SWING my dad admitted he did not feel so well. Oh boy. Only one more time around. My dad sucked on mints and tried to feel better, fervently searching for a banana. THERE ARE NO BANANAS ON CONEY ISLAND. We left soon after. Color eventually returned to my dear father's face. We ate some dinner in the 'hood and went to Big D's.


Sadly, my dad had to go to a meeting in Yonkers Thursday afternoon so they left after breakfast. My mom and I barely touched our eggs. I think we were egged out at this point. Their visit was totally great and I'm sad they left. Sometimes I think I'd be better off if I was just twelve for life.

My shit is dying.

I'm having a bad month. Perhaps the sun has been beating down too hard on me but I'm pretty much over everything and ready to move somewhere. The following is not what is bothering me but  rather a list of oh figures you'd crap out.


1. Palm tree plant I've had for six years that has always been super healthy=DEAD.
2. My lovely parents visited me the other week. My mom commented on the delightful lamp she had refinished for my apartment. The other night I was having a terrible town nightmare, woke up terrified and could not sleep for hours. When I finally did sleep, I woke up to a crash. The lamp had fallen over and is now dead.
3. The ipod...Oh, the ipod. Well, for a couple of weeks now, the screen is just completely white, cannot see what I'm listening to or pick songs. Sometimes the whole ipod will just shut off leaving me stranded without tunes. I then have to go home plug it in and hope for the best. It was working at the gym the other day and I was quite thankful. Then, the sound from the right earphone went quiet. Still, I was thankful-just the headphone, not ipod.....until the ipod also completely stopped working. And then. And then the TREADMILL I WAS RUNNING ON SHUT OFF. The treadmill, really?! REALLY. 
4. Just finished writing this and went to sweep the floor. Mid-sweep, brush part of broom falls off stick. Shocker.


September better be the best month of my life or I'm throwing towels in and am going to skip out on this town. For reals.

Doodles.

Jay Z Penguin swimming with sharks. He's got his swagger back.

Killah Penguin is at the crossroads.

Likes coffee, dislikes people.

Ah. I was totally on a dating show in 2007. Here's the play by play as to what went down:

http://www.pinkhathell.com/2007/09/sox-appeal-episode-6-who-could-ask-for.html

Hard to drive with a hard on.

Of course my cab driver talked to me the entire way home. He likes Chinese and Italian food but he can't eat Italian every day. He also is a big fan of rice and beans. He loves ginger. He is delighted by KFC but saddened that the one on McGuinness closes early. He is not delighted by lesbians in his car. He has nothing against lesbians but twice, two ladies have tried to use his car as a "hotel". He had to tell them to stop. When the lesbians got mad, he was honest with them-seeing two ladies get it on will give him an erection. It's hard driving with an erection. The ladies retaliated with "show us your dick then!" He did not understand. If they are lesbians, why do they want to see my dick?! Ah. Now if he sees two girls drunk and holding hands he will turn on his off duty lights because it is just uncomfortable driving with a hard on. THIS CONVERSATION LASTED SO LONG.


Of course my landlord's 19 year-old son was once again getting home at the same time as me. This time he handled the key situation.


I had three egg rolls tonight. I do not remember the last time I have had an egg roll. They were ravishing but holy moly I'm going to have a stomach ache. Death by egg roll.