GMA RAGIN'!!!

A few weeks ago, I gave my Gma a choice: ice cream or a drink. Not even a second did she take to make up her mind: DRINK. We headed to a restaurant/bar in Bristol, RI. I would have figured she would want to sit outside and take in the scenic water view. No. She wanted to sit RIGHT at the bar. Naturally, she knew the bartender as well as many other guys in the joint, despite not being a regular customer. She just seems to know someone (or everyone) everywhere we go. A month back, she held up a funeral line chatting everyone up. Anyway, Gma was absolutely fascinated by the business of the joint and even dealt well with a fella named Phil who was quite intoxicated, though she did express that she hoped he would not come back. The soda gun really threw her for a loop. "What's that?! I've never seen one of those before!!" Yeah, just like you think chicken on top of a salad is a new creation. Okaaaaay. All in all though, Gma with a stinger=good time.

In Yo' Face like a Can of Mayo....errr...MACE!!!

What up summertime crew?! I have been slacking lately. This has been a direct result of me starting grad school, taking tests like a mofo, and applying mayo to my face on the regs. These kinda haps fosho take up much time! On a side bar, I literally had to Google "haps on the craps" to see just how many letter P's are involved. Just one, despite "happenings" having two. Crazy stuff. Anyway, mayo in the face, you ask?? Why yes. It softens the skin like crazy!!! Crazy I tell you!! After a week of applying, you'll wonder if your face has been replaced with a baby's behind! The only problem thus far is that the applying of such mayo is making me crave chips and a sandwich. I'm not quite ready for lunch, but I WANT LUNCH!! And I'm not even a huge mayo consumer, but the smell is creating quite a rumble-y in my tummy.

I probably should stop procrastinating and do some actual work, but fear not! I've been jotting down things I've been meaning to blog about on random receipts and in between notes, which proves that my brain is not totally empty these days (though at times it does feel like it).

Let me leave you when an Ol' Dirty Bastard classic: Brooklyn Zoo. My brother and I used to listen to this in our Toyota Camry on the way to school back in the day. Please note the lyric: in your face like a can of mace. Such rhymin'!

Gma's 85th.

My Gma turned 85 on May 18th. Her first choice for celebrating was at the nearest casino but since my three-year old niece and some of my cousins would not be able to get in, we settled for her second choice, a restaurant called the Country Inn, which is a complete haven for snowcap heads. Please enjoy the following pictures. As you can tell, my family and I have some trouble behaving in public places.

Yup, that's Santa Claus. He was sitting at the table across from us which was basically the best thing EVER. I am obsessed with Christmas. I think I was more nervous to meet him than I was to meet Mark Wahlberg. Also, my Aunt Kathy and I may have thrown some napkins at a point. Since there is no pictures of that, let's say it didn't happen....

Rod Stuart, Phil Collins=Nostalgia at Age 8.

June 6th marked my 29th year of blessing this here Earth. Holla! As usual, I had around five minutes this past week dedicated to having my parents assure me that 29 is still a young and vibrant age. This is something, I feel, that is sort of common for people to start worrying about once they hit, oh, 26 or so.  Creeping up on thirty-how in the world?! They wonder! Here are two truths though: 1. Thirty is NOT old. Nor is 100, as long as you find the joys of being alive, stay active, and healthy. 2. I've felt simultaneously old and also young since the age of 7 or 8. Dead serious. This has something to do with

Birthday dinner #1. Birthdays=food=stomach ache=worth it.

Best cake ever courtesy of my amazing mom. 

Phil Collins, Rod Stewart,and Don Henley, as well as a few other popular songsters. I have vivid memories of driving around in my parents' station wagon at age seven wondering if I was old as Phil or Rod or Don blared through the radio, making me feel super nostalgic.  I would think about who exactly  is this Maggie May?, what exactly is in the air tonight? hold on!, and how I remembered when I heard the "Boys of Summer" the previous summer, at age six.

And TMI but when I finally got my period I cried all day, making my mom assure me that she still loved me even though I was officially old. I was in like sixth grade.

I guess there is a fear that life will just pass by, another year of thinking about Maggie, but this really is not the case. Every day in every year is worth living. Every day is a brand new start. So with that in mind, I try to really value my life. I am pretty lucky after-all! And I think most of us are pretty lucky if we start focusing on what really matters and living life to the fullest.

Now this has somehow gotten way too preachy and for that I apologize. But go forth people! Truly enjoy your days! Get low! Stay young! Feel vibrant! Life is for living!

Disgruntled from a long day of hunting mice, Rags turns to his vices...

Sheep Butt.

I try to let go of things that I can't control. I make an effort not to have any regrets. You gotta learn from your mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. But, I can't get past the fact that I did not stop my car to take a picture of a glorious sheep butt this past week.

 So, there is a very excellent flock that live on my street. They're often grazing, bah-ing, being cool, rockin' their woolly selves, doing the great stuff you would expect. But, the other day, I legit saw a sheep standing on his hind legs, his front legs grabbing onto a bush infront of him, his head full in it. So much sheep butt going on. I really dig how this fellow defied his usual stance and just went for what he waned, no qualms about showing off his fine rump for the rest of the flock. And here I am, an idiot in the car, too caught up in watching that I didn't even think to pull over to take a picture to capture the moment. I guess this is a prime example of life just happening before your eyes and truly being caught up in the moment.

Thankfully, I did at least capture some cats straight chillen. I take a lot of "I Spy" photos. There are four cats in this picture. Squint and you shall see.

Speaking of animals, man gets swallowed by a hippo and lives to talk about it?! Are you dead serious?! Best line ever: "Time passes very slowly when you're in a hippo's mouth."

Passing Notes.

More tales from the dramas of school!!

Lunch this week was spent listening to a teacher read notes that she had confiscated from her fourth grade students. Classic to say the least.

The first note was from one girl to another and it described their to-do list for an upcoming sleepover party. The list went something like this:

1. Spa Treatment
2. Prank call the boys
3. Go to Orange Leaf
4. Work on dance moves
5. Work on tan
6. Think of what to say to the boys
7. Watch a movie

One of the girls also confessed to having a huge crush on one of the boys in the class. She plans to tell him on Carnival Day. She's so nervous! He's so cute! She is going to work on her tan as a means to prepare for the big revelation.

Another note was from one boy to another. This note had absolutely nothing to do with girls. It was really sweet an innocent. It went something like this:

Dear John,

How are you? You're my best friend. I know you have a lot of other friends but I think you're my best friend. We should hang out soon. I played a great game of tetherball yesterday. Do you like tetherball?
                                       
-Zack


Zack, 

Tetherball is awesome! Let's play! We should hang out soon. We would have to tell our moms though because they would need to know what we are doing. Do you know what extreme couponing is? My aunt is an extreme couponer. She has coupons everywhere! Anyway, let's hang out.

-John

These notes are an excellent example of how girls' minds work and how boys' minds work. While girls are worrying themselves about professing their feelings, the guys are obliviously thinking about tetherball. Ladies of all ages, while you're sitting at home wondering if you should text blah blah blah and wondering why blah blah blah isn't texting you, remember it ISN'T you! He is just thinking about tetherball or something of equal importance.

Anyway, so Carnival was great because I learned that I am really excellent at obstacle courses. There were four blow-up bouncy obstacle course stations set up. And I ran around barefoot with the kids, telling them that they were in fact, "going down" and then proceeded to dive head first into inflatable barrels and climb a wall and slide down with much vigor! The bruises on my leg were definitely worth the glory of it all.