This is what is happening in my brain right now.

I just tried to put a stepping stool on my bed to change the lightbulb in my ceiling fan. FAIL.

I ran outside yesterday and could not walk for the first hour of this morning.

Yesterday I wore a white dress and it rained. I also did not realize that my dress was stuck in my underwear for at least ten minutes. Front side too. Whatever.

Monday Night

Tonight I am neglecting my improv responsibilities to do this: (see pic!)

There were multiple bands last night where the performers were all sitting down. People in bands should not sit down unless a. you're the drummer or b. you're paralyzed. I don't think any of these guys were paralyzed.

I wonder if jazz drummers are good dusters? My co-worker/friend thinks probably not-looks like they're just pushing it around!

Last night, the singer dude introduced the other members saying Jeremy is on drums and cymbals. Ah DUH. It'd be funny if he was just on drums and then like Pete was on cymbals.

I officially do not care about anything. Not even the lack of light in my room.

I used the George Foreman grill to make chicken today. Good call.

Putting a new shower liner in is such a  good feeling!

Having a denim bed set would be really funny but maybe not too comfortable.

Judgement Day is coming!!!

Is this Judgement Day an all day event? Do I have to clear the calendar? I was in my iced coffee joint aka sketchy corner store yesterday and all these old people were talking about Judgement Day. Well, the weather is going to be bad all week, that's because we are going to die. I really wish I could get to Florida before I died. If I died, I wish I could die in Florida. Congratulations! You're all IDIOTS!!!

I made my facebook status: 

Well, if we survive Judgement Day, weather is looking good for next week!

which prompted the following comments:

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    RIght. And when is Judgement Day again? I want to plan my outfit in advance
    

    45 minutes ago · I 
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    May 21st! It's gonna be a doozy seeing who's left behind! I plan on wearing yellow for irony's sake.
    

    42 minutes ago · 
    
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     Why is that ironic?
    

    25 minutes ago · 
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     Well, maybe because it is just really cheery? Or maybe because everyone else uses the meaning of irony wrong so I figured I would too. Not sure.
    

    24 minutes ago ·  ·  1 person
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    I'm really intrigued by this. The 21st will come and go and all the morons that actually think the world will end are going to be horribly wrong. But, they will obviously come up with some reason as to why the world didn't end. Morons.
    

    22 minutes ago ·  ·  1 person
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     I just prayed to Jesus on this and HE said that judgement day was January 2nd, 43 A.D. and that we are descendants of the "left behind" and that we should "suck it up".
    

    7 minutes ago ·  ·  1 person
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     Hahahahaha! I'm glad Jesus got back to you. He's been ignoring my calls. I think that sounds about right though. I mean, could it really get any worse?! Suck it up people!
    

    5 minutes ago · 
    
    

    •  I'm impressed how far they've gone to advertise Judgement Day. Subway posters? Bus Wraps? A big budgetary step up from the normal people handing out pamphlets in the subway.
      

      23 minutes ago ·  ·  1 person
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       Yeah, great marketing! I wonder if I need to clear my calendar Saturday. Just how long is all this judging supposed to last?
      

      20 minutes ago · 
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       http://judgementday2011.com/
      

      19 minutes ago · 
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       Well, it's been great knowing you guys!
      

      18 minutes ago · 
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       At least I get to celebrate my birthday on Friday without the looming fear of a Doomsday Earthquake...oh wait...
      

      15 minutes ago · 
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       I ♥ that May 21 is his *revised* date. They were wrong about 1994, but they've definitely got it this time!
      

      8 minutes ago · 
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       Kristen, 5/21 is basically just the beginning of the end. We'll have 5 months of torture and devastation before the world REALLY ends on 10/21. In that case, can we please hang out next week and enjoy the nice weather?
      

      52 seconds ago · 

REALLY PEOPLE?!

This happened at work tonight. No doubt if I was in third grade, I'd be in the counselor's office every day. For real though (yo), NOT (repeat NOT!!!) insane. Just....REALLY PEOPLE?!?!?!??!?!?!

Cat Whisperer!

This morning I got up and hung out with some cool cats (literally) at BARC. I cleaned one cage with five kittens and the mama cat. Whoa, geewillikers, what an adventure! I was flinging cats left and right trying to get out poop and whatnot. I was so proud by the time I was done. What a clean, humble abode I had set up for them! And they had zonked out. I am the cat whisperer, best believe it. A fellow volunteer asked me if any of the kitties were being frisky, they were giving her some trouble. No ma'am, they are putty in my hands! Seriously though, nothing soothes the soul like petting a pet. I turn to my pillow sheep in the morning, but the cats put me in ultra relaxed mode. During my kitty sess, I had been receiving texts from stressed out friends. If only they had an animal to love, they would not care about boys/work/whatever else there is to care about. 


On a side, like mashed potatoes, my mom called me multiple times today in regards to the smashing Mother's Day Mixed Cd I made her. Favorite call consisted of her asking me who did that song "about blow or something". "Ke$ha Mom." "Oh yeah, I've heard of her and I knew she spelled her name with a symbol but I've never heard her music before. This is great! I just love it! I can just imagine it being on at the club and dancing! Love this song!" My mom is the best.

Ribs

Sometimes I can't tell if my ribs hurt because I worked out or because my body NEEDS a cheeseburger. I seriously went into a panic yesterday trying to figure it out. The end. 

Is this healthy??

I don't think you understand how many more of these there are:

Lady Shark: I like your hat.

Cat: What is this noise?!

Penguin: I know man. Wish that seal shredded me yo. Can't deal.

Sexy Penguins!

It's Time To Go

Working at a music venue, I see a LOT of grown men having legit meltdowns on stage. As in, pretty much every night. Last Sunday, my co-worker turned to me and earnestly asked if the performer was crying on stage. "Yes, yes, I reckon he is," was my reply. Perhaps if rockstar had told mom/dad/cat/girlfriend/boyfriend/fish he loved him/her/it he would not be wailing on stage. But I suppose if he had done this, he would be out of a job. Check box: Face to face communication-POOR. Face to crowd communication-Excellent. 


Last night, a dude turned to me and asked me if the song on meant something to me. I told him I am sure it will in four minutes when it is done. He asked me what kind of music I listen to. "Random stuff." He presses further. "Christmas music, final answer." And then he shook my hand.


The artist had a song entitled "It's Time To Go". It was NOT his last song. Tell me how that makes any sense?! Senseless.