Why don't fish like basketball??

The latest from kindergarten....

I love kindergarten. Snack time! Going down the slide at recess! Music class! Art class! Gym! Being excited for being able to zip up your own zipper!

The other day, there was an older gentleman substituting teaching the music class. Comedy central. He plays a pretty annoying Christmas song on the CD player and tells them to listen. Obviously, they're not listening. He writes a few of the words on the board. They cannot read these words. Literally. He then passes out a million instruments. The annoying Christmas song is still playing. He tells them to sing the song while playing the instruments. Chaos. These kids do not know the words, nor do they know how to play any of these instruments. A triangle flies across the room. I basically had a laughing fit throughout the entire fifty minutes of class and was of no help whatsoever.

I know you shouldn't pick favorites, but there is this one boy in class who takes pics of his cats for me and then brings in his camera to show me. Amazing. His parents renovated their upstairs and he took pics of that too.  He takes out his camera and is like, "here is the toilet" and "this is the tv". He made a cd of his mom singing in Portuguese for me. We discussed how his parents should put a radio station in their house and we can have out cats come and listen. Love it. He's  also always offering to bring in an extra snack for me. "I can ask my mom to pack an extra honey bun for you!" On Wednesday, he beckoned for me to come over. "I have to tell you in your ear. Santa can't hear." He then proceeded to tell me how he saw Santa last year, but Santa can't know this. Santa was putting gifts under the tree and his cat Penny was climbing the tree. Santa threw Penny off the tree but made sure that he landed on a soft spot. This kid is the best.  Cats! Snacks! Santa! Such great taste!. He also said that there is a parade of turkeys that walk through his yard on Thanksgiving that his family feeds. Another great thing about this kid is that he is a prankster. He brought in fake white-out to school and tricked all of the teachers. Soooo classic. Right up my alley.

This kid, as well as a few others, are always trying to share their food with me.  One boy literally tried to spoon feed me his JELLO the other day. "It's so good. You need to try it."

Some good quotes from the week:

Girl: "Miss Kristen, guess what! I am big enough for a booster seat now!" She is so excited.

Boy: "Do you want a gift? I have a gift for you!" He then proceeds to do armpit farts in my face.
Classic!

Boy: "Someone made fun of me once in pre-school."
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. What did the person do?"
Boy: "He said 'na na na na na na' to me."
Me: "Oh, that's not very nice."

Boy: "Do you like applesauce?"
Me: "Yes."
Boy: "Pinky swear??"

Girl: "When I grow up I want to be a princess with a mermaid tail."

Boy: "When I grow up I want to be a dinosaur!"

I asked a kid why he was in the nurse's office. His response: "I laughed so hard I peed myself. It was so funny." I told him that that happens to me too sometimes.

And some jokes from the back of the milk carton:

Q: What do astronauts put on their launch?
A: Launch meat!

Q: Why did the cow put lipstick on her forehead?"
A: She was trying to make up her mind!

Q: Why don't fish like basketball?
A: They're afraid of the net!