Yesterday.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Nah, this is not a classic song, this is my life.

So, yesterday I went to open a drawer of a bing-thing-a-ma-jig and hear a sound. I look to the floor and a roach is lying there. This cannot be so I think. But indeed it is. I texted my roommate right away and also my landlord. To my landlord I wrote "Giant bug!!!"-real descriptive. My roommate thankfully was approaching the door. Just in the nick of time-who is this Nick fellow? Evidently he is quite punctual. Anyhow. She dropped a winter boot on him and cracks and grossness ensued. Persistent guy, took a while for the killing to really set in. My roommate seems to think they like wires and he was kind of near some chords. I immediately pictured a cockroach working at the Genius Bar or a Radio Shack since they seem so partial to electronics. They are a little less gross in a red uniform somehow. I also pictured other roaches hanging out in the wall, playing poker, smoking a cig, and discussing Jerry's death and how they should not come out during the day. Additionally, I was just about to eat some shrimp and it occurred to me that shrimp are kind of like cockroaches but different and delicious. I looked at my roommate and was like imagine a shrimp walking around on the floor. She said if a shrimp was walking around she would throw boiling water on it and serve it up. Ha! Oh brother.


The killing really put me off. Perhaps it was the fumes from the cleaning supplies we drowned him in (never can be too safe!) but next thing you know, I'm completely late for where I'm going and my outfit does not match So I go to the Upright Citizens Brigade to see Scott Adsit and John Lutz of 30 Rock fame, improv it out. Scott was MIA but his replacement, a lady named Meaghan, did a fine job. I've done improv and seen improv but these guys are good. They don't try too hard. It just evolves naturally. Good shit.


The train ride home was something. I'm untangling my earphones and waiting for the L to haul gear when a girl sits down next to me and asks me if I live here. I said I did and she then asked me how I stayed so healthy. To this I counteracted with "How do you know if I am healthy or not?!" and she said I have nice skin. Well, thanks. I do appreciate such compliments especially because it is our largest organ so that is kind of cool, right? Ah. The compliment was appreciated but then I had to talk to her for around twelve minutes. She is a healer from Woodstock. Of course she is. For some reason I ended up cracking my knee for her and discussing the benefits of water. It was all kind of strange.


Last night I could not sleep. Shocker. No. Sometimes I just cannot get comfortable and the thoughts are running around in there and it is just bad news bears. Around eight am I hear major ruckus from downstairs. The family was in a major uproar about not wanting to go to school and blah blah. Bloody murder screams were heard. I am just thinking, doesn't your throat hurt?! And is it not considerate to yell so loud when people are trying to sleep? REALLY?! Go to fucking school. God know's you could use an education.


Post ruckus I did find myself asleep for around 5 minutes, enough for my early morning weird dream. This one consisted of me leaving the dentists after I had finished my appointment, having paid with a Groupon discount. The hygienist is walking with me through an odd little village and told me I should really get my tooth pulled but it would cost $12,000 and I said I'd have to wait until I got a Groupon for a tooth pulling. She also said my mouth did not look so good and offered to get me a drink. I said I would like to go shopping. There were odd little huts. She did not understand how I could shop but not pay $12,000 for getting my tooth out. I think this dream comes from the fact that I really am going to the dentist on a Groupon discount and the hygienist perhaps resembled the sketchy healer.


Well, that was yesterday into early morning of today. Real exciting stuff I know (sarcasm).